2011 is already racing by. I can't believe February is knocking at the door. I have received many inquiries into the status of my Daddy as well as to my husband Mike who's condition has fallen out of the spotlight now that Daddy has been in it. For those of you who may not know, Mike was diagnosed in the summer of 2009 with Multiple Sclerosis. I can't believe it was that long ago. You can read about our journey in my previous posts:
Unfortunately Mike accidentally deleted his blog, journaling his thoughts and daily struggles with MS, when he deleted his old email account. I am so sad that we no longer have his words of inspiration and perspective.
It has been a trail of smooth and rugged terrain over the past year and a half. We have so much to be grateful for and I thank my Heavenly Father daily for this amazing man that is my eternal companion. It has been difficult for me to witness the effects of this disease on him. Tasks that are easy for you and I prove difficult for someone who struggles with issues of equilibrium, beyond extreme fatigue, inability to manage body temperature, constant shooting pain in your leg, numbness in various parts of your body, random twitches and shocks, and the frustration of telling your body to do one thing and it doing another or nothing at all. Holding your baby, going up and down stairs, walking or sitting for too long, staying up late, getting over a simple cold, and so on are challenges that you wish weren't.
Of course I've discovered that Mikes suffers from all this and random other things not because he complains, because he does not, but because he will make jokes about it or I'll watch him struggle or I'll have to beg it out of him. I can usually tell when something is wrong, but have a hard time getting him to admit to it. In the beginning I seemed to forget some days that he was sick, but it has seemed like lately the physical reminders have increased.
At times I battle with feelings of severe discouragement over his condition & our future as well as feelings of overwhelming inadequacy for the task of being the right kind of support for him & our children, but always always am I met each and every day by a loving, faithful, encouraging, and hard working husband. He is a pillar of strength for me who continually points me to our eternal source of strength, our Savior Jesus Christ. I have gone so long without worrying about our future due to the fact that I know my Heavenly Father is always mindful of my family. How do I know this? Because he has proven it time and time again. So why do I allow those moments of doubt and fear to creep in? I guess I doubt myself and my ability to handle it all. At those times I am reminded through that still small voice that I am not required to handle it all by myself. The words of one of my favorite scriptures {shared by my cousin Shelise so long ago} are whispered in my heart, "ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along." {Doctrine and Covenants 78:18} I love to be led. That is one of the greatest feelings and experiences in life, to be lead by God. I pray for his continued guidance as we meet whatever may come next.
My Daddy is holding up fairly well under the circumstances. He was able to be home for Christmas which was a miracle in itself. This photo of him and Felicity is on Christmas Day, both in their Christmas pjs. He has received 3 rounds of chemotherapy since having to be in the hospital for 25 days and has been well enough to be at home and even to resume a lot of his church duties as stake president as well as going back to work a few times a week. My mom drives him into work and has adopted a neighborhood in Whittier as her home away from home. Many days he is able to work from home.
Since his release from the hospital my parents have met with several other doctors, getting "second opinions" regarding my father's diagnosis and treatment. From what they have been told, the type of Myeloma my father has is very rare, maybe 200 cases in the entire country. This is what made it so difficult to diagnose in the first place. My parents are in the process of deciding under which doctor they will be doing treatments. Right now he is on a cycle for chemotherapy in which he has it 4 times within 2 weeks and then off only 1 week before the cycle begins again. The 2nd treatment day is always the roughest with 2 chemicals instead of 1.
One of the biggest battles that my Daddy has had over the past month and a half has been an unrelenting, heavy cough which has kept him from sleeping and recovering properly causing various side effects. He has undergone multiple tests to try and determine its origin, but they have been inconclusive.
Just as my amazing husband, my incredible father is as positive as ever. It is great to see a smile on his face, especially when he is with the grandkids. Owen and Eyan have enjoyed some special time with grandpa playing the Wii, doing puzzles, and watching those silly shows that grandpa likes to watch like "Wipeout". He is learning a new normal and I think that it the latest challenge for him. But Dad enjoys a challenge because that is what life is made of, challenges. I know that he will "come off conqueror"!
