at first glance our kitchen looked like any other kitchen the morning of Thanksgiving
ingredients being measured
batters being mixed
ovens pre-heating
refrigerators being packed to the brim
fingers licking delicious remains in shiny bowls
all in preparation for a family gathering this afternoon
so then why was I brought to tears of absolute gratitude this morning over such a typical scene?
this morning my list of blessings ran through my mind
small and important
vibrant colors
my children playing and laughing together
living next door to my mom
Spotify music accompanying me wherever i go
friends who rally around me and lift me up
family who have stood shoulder to shoulder with me these past difficult months
5th grade math answer keys
Mrs. Meyer's orange clove scented dish soap
children who tenderly hug me when I cry
a father who left a legacy of service
a mother who lives each day full of strength and grace
my testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ
my knowledge that Heavenly Father does care about my daily life
my knowledge that I will see my Daddy again
all of which, and so many more, bring my varying levels of happiness to which I am immensely grateful this Thanksgiving Day
which brings me to this morning
if you would have looked more closely at the scene that unfolded as Thanksgiving dishes were being prepared,
you would have seen a man, my dear husband,
grasping onto the counter for support as he mixed the cranberry mousse
limping as he brought ingredients to and from the refrigerator
wincing in pain as he stood to knead the bread
all the while loudly singing out gospel music because he said that it helps him forget the pain
i ache
i cry
my spirits fading, i'm buried alive
i fail
i fell
just when i fear i'm losing it all
i reached the edge of what i know
He reaches out and i let go
He is my light
He is my strength
He is the anchor of the hope that i can truly change
He magnifies what i can give
with every step and every breath
i worship Him
He is the only way and I know He lives
hearing his testimony of his faith in the Savior Jesus Christ sung out so loudly and with certain declaration
moved me to tears
tears of gratitude
for this absolutely incredible man that i am married to
a man of unwavering faith and eternal perspective
a man who gets up each and every day after a sleepless night due to incomprehensible pain, puts a smile on his face, pleasant words in his mouth, puts one foot in front of the other as he gingerly descends down the stairs, and then gets to work... all for us
tears of ache
as i watch him struggle so desperately to be able to perform something he takes such pleasure in
he had for years taken great pride and satisfaction in the heavenly delectable meals he had happily labored in preparing for others
tears of longing
that he would feel fulfilled in his grand desire to be able to contribute in a meaningful way
this bread that he made this morning though stunningly beautiful, aromatically delightful and mouth-wateringly delicious
means so much more to me than a delight to my taste buds
with each bite i will think of his offering, this labor of love
his declaration that Jesus will magnify what he can give
and that with every strained step he worships Him
i am thankful
most humbly thankful for him, my awe inspiring husband this blessed day
{to read more about our journey with Multiple Sclerosis click here or on the label in the right column}
