In pieces

Felicity broke my vintage double strand pearl necklace a few days ago
one that made me feel like audrey hepburn whenever i wore it
a classically beautiful piece of jewelry that i could see myself wearing until all my skin was wrinkly and my hair was pristine white

i have been finding pearls here and there around the house
in Felicity's purse
under my bed
in her hand
on the tile

this morning as i found a new collection of lost pearls
i felt as if my necklace's demise were a microcosm to how i am feeling about my life today
a beautifully strung strand of pearls of varying diameters stretched and scattered
things that were once in line have slipped away from my reach
some seem lost forever
a healthy husband
a healthy father
employment for our family {that uninvited guest just keeps refusing to leave}

these were some of the central pearls, great in diameter
with their disappearance
also left pieces of
patience
perspective
understanding
selflessness

how i pray that i may find all of these pieces again

i hold in my hand the central pearl, the pearl with the greatest weight
faith
i am gripping it tightly, holding onto it, feeling of its smooth mass in my hand

i know that my necklace will never look the same again
but i pray that the new necklace that the Master is creating will be more beautiful than the first
and that i will see it as so
even with all its chips and stains
that my
patience
perspective
understanding
selflessness
will grow in weight and size

that only His hands can put my pieces back together
that i must be diligent in seeking for them
and then lay them at his feet
for He can create something far more beautiful than i can imagine
and then when i wear it, i will feel not just like a movie star, but a queen