Saturday, July 23, 2011

Withdrawals and Overload

Well I don't know about you, but I feel like I've been going through Abigail withdrawals.  Over the first two weeks of her life I grew accustomed to seeing her sweet, little face and hearing about every amazing and scary moment occuring each and every day, sometimes hour by hour, minute by minute.  The instant she was born she had become a part of my heart and I know a part of many of your hearts as well.  We all became her cheering crowd, her champions, her unseen lifting hands.  Witnessing God's miracles on a consistent basis has been exhilarating.

Over the past few days I have been feeling a little of the Summer Blues, a little drained by the demand that four children require on a sun up, sun down basis. {Tate even before the sun}.  Knowing that I needed to change my perspective and stop my pathetic inner dialogue of complaint and pity, I decided to turn my thoughts to women who are examples of strength, that of pioneer women.  These include women of my faith, who during the early years of our Church's history, left homes and comforts behind to cross the plains to follow a prophet of God and seek for a place of peace. {read more of pioneers here and here}  They were women of courage, faith, endurance, and strength.  In my thoughts, I reached out to some friends through the convenient technology of texting with a question of "Do you think pioneer women ever felt like they needed a break from their kids or that they were always happy to be surrounded by them day and night?"  I received some wonderful quips that brought me much needed laughter involving pioneer women sending children on far away chores, possible play groups from cabin to cabin or hand cart to hand cart, and some late night fireside dancing and consuming of beef jerky amongst themselves.  I would love to hear some journal entries on those!

One friend pointed out that "they were certainly more familiar with the fragility of life regarding their little ones.  That's something I would be well to remember."  Oh this is so true.  We have often heard of these accounts, even our dear Prophet Joseph Smith and his wife Emma were not exempt from the harsh reality of their day.  My mind once again returned to this miracle of Abigail.  Such a testament to the miracle of modern medicine, a blessing of living in this day and age.  I often find myself in awe of the grand design of the body and all of its inter-workings.  I would do well to give thanks for the perfect little bodies that are my children.  Of course there are a battle scar or two or three {and in poor Owen's case today, a chipped front tooth} but for the most part my children are extremely healthy and perfectly lively!!  We have been greatly blessed in that department.

I am grateful for good friends who helped to rescue me with a little laughter, some reassurance that I am indeed a 'normal mom', and with some proper perspective.  In this quest for perspective, I am exploring the following scriptures that I came across in that article I mentioned previously in my post, "Be of Good Cheer": 

“I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
“I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:11–13).

To be content in whatsoever state I am in.  That right there is my test.  That is the perspective I need.  I am intrigued by the following verse and the use of opposites to expound on what it means to be content.  As I study how to be both humble and to excel, to be satisfied and to yearn for more, I pray it may lead to my understanding that I can do all things in Christ, "in whom we have boldness and access with confidence" (Ephesians 3:12)

Since my mom has been home from Utah, I have felt disconnected from the world of Abigail and her proud parents, Jesse and Jani.  I have not wanted to intrude on them in their efforts to care for their newborn baby, as I know caring for a healthy baby is exhausting.  I can't even imagine the increased worry and bone-tiredness that would come from tending to a baby with fragile health.  This evening my mother has sent me a little report on Abigail as well as a few photos:

"She seems to be doing well, thank goodness.  She's feeding better and her sats (oxygen saturation level) are good.  [Jesse and Jani] are thoroughly enjoying their little angel girl!!  It makes me so happy!"  I love to hear them describing her typical infant activities: her love of her swing, lots of snoozing {which is normal for all babies beside my own}, drinking her bottle, cute faces she makes, and of course her fun girlie outfits.  On one video my mom sent me it had Jesse speaking in his new high-pitched Daddy voice.  Loved it!  So fun to hear my brother in that role.  I almost didn't recognize whose voice it was.  Here are a few photos from the past few days:


  1. very well written. I agree...needing updates! I heard that video too...same thought I had...It was so sweet to hear jesse being a dad...I hope that they are getting some sleep. I am so excited to meet her.

  2. She is so adorable. I am excited to hear she is doing so well. Thanks for reminding me that with Christ all things are possible. I have a feeling I will need to hear that a lot more in the coming months :)



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