That is all it takes for your heart to be captured.
The moment your baby is born, you're a captive to love. How could you have ever thought that you had loved before?
That is all it takes for your worries to become seemingly insurmountable.
The moment they whisk your baby away in a panic.
Such extremes in emotions. How could this be?
Sweet baby Abigail Elizabeth was born this evening to the most darling couple, my brother Jesse and his wife Jani. Such a joyous occasion! Here she is just twenty minutes after being born. Soon after, she was taken from the arms of my amazing sister-in-law to be put on oxygen and administered X-rays. Something was wrong. She was not getting oxygen. She was not breathing on her own.
Being far away from my brother we are gathering news from texts and frantic phone calls.
Falling to our knees in prayer. Crying out loud. Please. Please baby breathe.
I ask for your prayers once again on behalf of my family. We need them so desperately. Such needs draw us close to the Lord, reminding us that he is the life-giver. He is the miracle worker.
Baby Abigail's heart is located on the wrong side. Instead of on the left, hers is on her right. She will undergo surgery, although the doctors are still unsure as to what is the exact defect. As I type this, this perfect little Spirit, this angel on earth is being loaded onto a helicopter to be taken from her loving, exhausted Mommy and brought to a children's hospital. Gratefully an amazing one. My heart feels like it is going to break for my brother. I can feel his heart breaking. What a blessing that my mother made it in time to give him comfort.
I can't sleep. I am searching for peace. Something that will let me sleep.
The words just came... sure and clear.
"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalms 46:10
In looking up this scripture I noticed the first verse of the chapter:
"God our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalms 46:1
I can't even imagine what they are feeling, but I pray that Jesse and Jani may feel His "very present help". Oftentimes the only way to feel it is to do exactly that, "Be still." Stop. Stop worrying. Stop crying. Stop resisting. Be still to allow yourself to feel his peace, to let it wash over you just long enough to get through one more minute, one more moment. Continue on in the cycle until you can feel Him "present". Such presence is the only true source of peace and truth. Thank you once again for your support and love.
**UPDATE 6:23 am - Baby Abigail arrived at the children's hospital in the wee hours of the morning. My mom and Jesse are there but have not been able to see her at all as they have been running more tests on her little heart. Minutes seem like hours. Hours, like days.
**UPDATE 10:17 am - From an email from my mother: It's been a very long night and morning but following extensive testing Jesse just spoke with the top cardiologist and gave him the report of their findings. She has several things wrong with her heart. First being that it is on the wrong side of her chest, second, she has a condition called Tricuspid Atresia which means that she is missing her right ventricle altogether and cannot pump blood to her lungs, so that is why her oxygen level is so low. Next she has pulmonary atresia which means that her pulmonary artery is malformed and non functioning. She will require 3 surgeries over the course of 3-5 years, the first being scheduled for either Wednesday or Thursday, which is the one with the greatest risk but with an 85% survival rate. The next surgery will be in 3-5 months and the final being in 3-5 years. I'm not clear on all the particulars of the individual surgeries as I'm feeling quite foggy right now about all things in general. So forgive me for that. But she most likely will eventually need a heart transplant later on in her life. There's alot more information but I'm not up to relating it right now. Suffice it to say that she needs our utmost faith and prayers at this time.
Here is our sweet baby Abigail at 1:00 pm today. Only 16 hours old. Sweet dreams little angel. You will need all of your strength.