Tuesday, March 12, 2013

just the girls: disneyland through a little girl's eyes - my baby turns 3

the day i found out i was pregnant with our baby number 4 was the exact same day that we found out that Mike had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis
it is remarkable how the Lord's timing works out
that night after sitting on the sofa as Mike retold the unbelievable news that the doctor had delivered to him
i was overcome with grief and disbelief
one of the boys needed something for their class that required me to go to the store
as i drove the van, the tears came harder than ever before
i had to pull off to the side of the road for my safety
as i sat there shoulders heaving up and down and my body shaking from my sobbing
i recalled the beautiful news i had received earlier that day
we were going to have another baby
i had suffered a miscarriage recently and so the thought of losing another one due to stress that i was perhaps inflicting upon this new spirit from this emotional breakdown caused me to pull myself together
for this little life
living for another's life saved me from collapsing with agony

i love my boys
i adore my boys
but my yearning for a girl began to emerge as i thought about mike's condition and the future that lay ahead
my most intimate thoughts and prayers revealed to my Father in Heaven a desire for a baby girl
not for typical reasons
i wanted a girl so that together we would be able to take care of Mike in the future
its not to say that my boys would not attend to their father whom they love dearly
but there is just something unique about a daughter's love and care for her father

three years ago today my little baby girl arrived into my arms
a word meaning happiness and bliss
Felicity Gail
i harbored doubts throughout the remainder of my pregnancy
after the delivery my first question was 'is it a girl?'
yes, it was sweet baby girl

i have thoroughly enjoyed having another girl in the house
i tell you after 3 boys it has been a completely different world
one that i have had to allow myself to embrace
i would consider myself girlie but not to the extent of some
in the beginning when her personality began to show through, i had to embrace the fact that felicity loves princesses, tutus, and pink
now i find it endearing
though i still find myself trying to reel some of it into my control
offering red over pink
a red headband over a pink jeweled crown
or a navy and white striped dress over a sequined ball gown 

its growing on me 
and how could it not when its dressing up that little face and self
and when she twirls and sings and dances with delight

Felicity is rather independent and strong willed
which actually describes every one of my children
but she is unique in being the baby and the only girl
Daddy's surely not going to mind
he is wrapped around her little finger

there are many events that occurred last year which due to the difficult events
did not get posted here on my blog
i regret that
but don't see how it could have been prevented
what i do want you to know was that amongst the difficulty we still sought out and found joy

one such event was
felicity and i heading to disneyland just the two of us
it was a completely new experience for me
seeing the park through the eyes of a little girl

we paused at places that we would have normally walked straight by with all of the boys
the princess castle
the princesses themselves
anything pink

we made our way to Snow White's wishing well
this little visit to hear the sweet song of Snow White sparked one of my most favorite habits of Felicity's 
the singing of the wishing song
a-ha-ha-ha-ha    a-ha-ha-ha-ha
i'm wishing    i'm wishing
for the one i love
it is seriously one of the most adorable things i have ever witnessed

our day was delightful
with the addition of her cousin
we headed out to see the princesses
something she continues to talk about every single day
which makes standing in line for literally two hours worth it

and i have come around to embrace the princess phase
blue sequined ball gown and all
for i know it won't last for long
those little toes will be trying on high heels soon enough
happy birthday baby girl
you've brought fairytale magic into our home


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