Saturday, September 28, 2013

who is that girl?

recognizing the girl in the reflection
there have been a lot of private battles over the past couple of weeks
yes even for me
one who is very open in sharing
but you all must know that beneath all that i share
lies a whole other level of grief, loneliness, refinement, and sacred joy
some of which only my family knows
some of which only the dearest of friends know
and still the deepest of which no one but the Lord knows

there has been a battle that has been raging on for some time
which has been heightened by this move
by Mike's continual decline in health
by my continual reflection of who i am
what defines me

as i move forward in this new life
i seem to move further away from the girl that i know
that girl i grew accustomed to seeing when i gazed in that mirror

who is that girl?

this morning my heart is full for friendship
the kind that looks at you and sees you
not for the things that you would define yourself as
but looks at you and sees you as the sum of those minute transformations you have experienced and are currently experiencing
who sees all that reigns down upon you to shape you
those things that are just plain brutal and hurt
who sees all those seemingly small triumphs in your character
as well as those grand achievements and blessings of joy
who knows you for the person you are
the person you battle to not be
and the one you battle to be

today i relinquish the rest of my battle story to my dear friend leslie
whose friendship is that very kind
whose words share my heart with you
to be brave
and not shrink at the battlefront of tearing down what i would define myself as
but to be bold in unearthing beneath that all
the reflection of myself that would most reflect Him

please travel with me over to her blog
my happily ever after
to her post 'who is that in the mirror?'

i'd love to hear from you:
have you ever experienced such drastic transformation that at one point you didn't recognize yourself?
how did you feel and what did you do to accept that unearthed you?

***purchase print by storytellingart here


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