Friday, September 14, 2012

slowing down and drinking it in

something refreshing and different happened yesterday
it was almost as if i was watching myself and my interactions with my children from afar
time slowed down just a bit today
allowing me to recognize the moments in which i was feeling content in doing the little things of motherhood

gazing down at my faintly freckled faced ten year old boy.  as i watching him talk to me after school, i was only half listening as i peered onto his changing face.  Owen has grown up so much this summer. a smile came across my face and i gave him a soft kiss on the cheek interrupting him mid sentence.

sitting next to my little E on his bed, as he has been feeling a bit under the weather the past few days.  he kindly requested that i clip his fingernails.  you would be jealous of the speed at which they grow, of course quite less desirable for a seven year old boy.  we laughed as i tried to contain them as they shot in every which direction, one bounced off my nose.

calming a crying Tate on my bed with a little facial massage, he experiencing some pain behind his eye and an earache.  his sweet little face finally relaxing, with his eyes closing putting his long eyelashes to rest.  i did little circles on his temples, forehead, cheek bones, and across his jawbone.  this child responses instantly to touch.

attempting to brush Felicity's teeth through tightly sealed lips.  laughing and acquiescing to the fact that she has to do everything herself.  i was thoroughly entertained with the intensity in which she scrubbed her teeth and then the gentleness she then used to softly wash the toothpaste off her face when she was finished.

how i love looking upon these faces

i found myself being okay with and thankfully even drinking in this different phase of life,
being consumed in motherhood
not having many spare moments to craft, decorate, blog, or even to finish those 'must do's
another major change has occurred in our family
i have decided to homeschool Owen part-time this year
a subject i would like to explore more with you at a later time
it has brought about some serious introspection on what i am willing to do for my children's happiness and what role their development plays in my own
sometimes time i give up to do those little things like administer medicine, trim fingernails, or patiently allow my child to do something on their own that i know would take me a fraction of the time,
becomes ground for bitterness, thinking about the more desirable things that i would rather be doing.
i am so grateful for those simple moments i caught myself doing yesterday
when i could almost see myself interacting with each individual child as if on a home movie
i felt so much satisfaction in motherhood
that was truly a tender mercy from my Heavenly Father during this time of fast paced transitions


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