Cloudy Day Gray Interview

everybody has cloudy days

but it's what we do with them that determine the rain or shine

I am so happy to have been a part of the Cloudy Day Interviews by Kelly of Cloudy Day Gray

in which I share some particularly stormy and cloudy days

and how I have still seen those parting rays of sunshine

even in the rain and how you can too! 

hop on over to read the full interview on Cloudy Day Gray here

photos by Amanda ARG Photography

every life matters Q&A

i am honored today to be featured in a meaningful blog series called

Every Life Matters

by the fabulous Katie from Dotson Love

her zest for life is contagious

and her mission to help the world see that every life matters resonates with my own passions

read my full interview Q&A here

where i answer some fun and tough questions like...

how i keep focused on the things that matter instead of the things that scream the loudest

how i've overcome times when i have felt like i haven't mattered

what our family fights over

and of course what i am passionate most about

be sure to say hi over there 

and even stay to read some of the other powerful interviews of some incredible women

new reader? start here

hello there new friend! 

pleased to meet 'cha

i'm briana and welcome to my blog Sweet Dreams are Made of These.  i see life in a swirl of colors and ideas and do my best to create some sort of order.  to read about what swirling elements make up my family of 6 read here

for some divulged random facts about me click here or here including my mixtape for life

recently my hubby has joined me as a co-blogger and our goal is for this to be a joint space for us

get to know him here

this year

i have helped brand and launch an organization that breaths life into the soul of mothers

and opens their eyes to see that their journey

the one they are living right now

is worthy of inspiring others

so come inspire and be inspired at

MOMS LIVING HAPPY

through my own journey i have discovered my true passion

people

i love people

people are beautiful

you and you and you

and i want to celebrate you

i am all giddy inside just thinking about my next venture 

which will share that passion with you this year

watch for it

be a part of it

see more of what i've done this year as a party blogger contributor to 

DESIGN DAZZLE  for TARGET here and here

and more of sharing our family's journey with hardships such as Multiple Sclerosis and cancer

here on SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE

and here on POWER of MOMS

here i blog about: 

the dish on mommyhood for four young active children {3 busy boys and 1 'baby girl'}- family fun, specializing in mayhem

my creative outlet - the essential part that creativity plays in finding joy in each day 

see my growing list of diy/tutorials here

a little light and truth - the role faith plays in my family's adjustment to my husband's diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis and my Daddy's recent passing from cancer 

the parable of the swing  |  what to do about cave drawings and spills and tears    |   10 tips for styling the whole boy    |   acceptance is just out of my grasp    |   mr bowlerman & miss charleston - an applique tutorial   |   back to school photoshoot   |   marquee love   |   the mental challenge: by mike   |   mr right and little miss t-shirt tutorial: adventures in freehand cutting and freezer stencils   |   in pieces

'gateway to summer' door banner diy tutorial   |   the morning we feared    |   an unhurried day: felicity is princess for a day, her birthday that is    |   handmade valentine swap: helping to revive the art of the penpal    |   love her mother    |   to simply begin, one branch at a time  |  our new family photos  |  backyard date night corsage: a little tutorial  |  black and white and smiles all over: cousins captured  |  

my Daddy's passing  |  Mike's battle with Multiple Sclerosis  |  my dream of building my blog to provide for our family  |  miracle of a rebuilt heart for baby Abigail  |  our uninvited guest of unemployment  |  14th wedding anniversary  |  homeschooling Owen  |  Craft Explosion

thanks for reading Sweet Dreams are Made of These

grab your favorite bunny slippers and stay for awhile...

i would love to hear from you.

your friend in this journey,

briana

follow this blog

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follow me through email

email me at sewhappytogether6 at me dot com

who is that girl?

***

there have been a lot of private battles over the past couple of weeks
yes even for me
one who is very open in sharing
but you all must know that beneath all that i share
lies a whole other level of grief, loneliness, refinement, and sacred joy
some of which only my family knows
some of which only the dearest of friends know
and still the deepest of which no one but the Lord knows

there has been a battle that has been raging on for some time
which has been heightened by this move
by Mike's continual decline in health
by my continual reflection of who i am
what defines me

as i move forward in this new life
i seem to move further away from the girl that i know
that girl i grew accustomed to seeing when i gazed in that mirror

who is that girl?

this morning my heart is full for friendship
the kind that looks at you and sees you
not for the things that you would define yourself as
but looks at you and sees you as the sum of those minute transformations you have experienced and are currently experiencing
who sees all that reigns down upon you to shape you
those things that are just plain brutal and hurt
who sees all those seemingly small triumphs in your character
as well as those grand achievements and blessings of joy
who knows you for the person you are
the person you battle to not be
and the one you battle to be

today i relinquish the rest of my battle story to my dear friend leslie
whose friendship is that very kind
whose words share my heart with you
to be brave
and not shrink at the battlefront of tearing down what i would define myself as
but to be bold in unearthing beneath that all
the reflection of myself that would most reflect Him

please travel with me over to her blog
my happily ever after
to her post 'who is that in the mirror?'

i'd love to hear from you:
have you ever experienced such drastic transformation that at one point you didn't recognize yourself?
how did you feel and what did you do to accept that unearthed you?

***purchase print by storytellingart here

non-sensical sense: why my clutter is treasure to me

i am confident in saying that no one will agree one hundred percent with what i am going to say 
maybe a percentage of you will agree with some of what i say
but probably most of you will think i’m crazy
i am okay with that, just please be kind

after posting my husbands post, clutter or treasure
it was clear that i needed to write a rebuttal
so maybe this isn’t really a rebuttal so much as a non-sensical attempt to explain the reasons behind what he would deem, and probably most of you, madness
madness that he lives with and puts up with graciously because he loves me
and somehow thinks i’m the best person he’s ever met in his life
despite the wake of treasures that come along with keeping me around

you must realize that he is leaning heavily towards the label of exaggeration by saying i have kept everything since birth
yes i may have had a personal ‘dewey-decimal’ like system coded by color for my childhood books, i have only kept a few which have now made their home in Felicity’s room
and yes i may still have Humanities textbooks from college, but i have gotten rid of most of them and have even given away most of my student teaching materials recognizing that if i ever taught film or art history or spanish
there would be an entirely new world of information available
see, i have some sense in me

but his claim of fifteen years of moving innumerable unopened boxes from house to house
unfounded i tell you

what about my need to keep things makes real sense?
hmmm, probably not a whole lot

i inherited a love for keeping things ‘just in case’ from my daddy
it was a well known fact that you did not remove anything from daddy’s closet
there was a reason for him keeping that stiff baseball glove, dusty magic show kit, or heavily lined parka that a polar bear would be jealous of
in his eyes they were still perfectly good and still had lots of life left in them to give
just in case you ever wanted to play catch, see a magic show, or moved back to Alaska
we were raised to be recyclers and reusers way before the wave of green came
for that was part of my daddy’s industry

in my attempt to keep mike’s ‘use by date’ stamped fluorescent stickers at bay
i will seek to reveal some random reasons i feel compelled to keep so many different categories of things
warning:
i am trying to put a linear cause and effect pattern on what more likely resembles an old skool jungle gym of sharp twists forward, to the side, and back
so please remember...
be kind

*i had an incredible childhood full to the absolute tippy top with magical moments that i don’t ever want to forget.  physically seeing random objects and papers conjure up memories the moment i lay my eyes on them.  holding them brings an added dose of reality...those things really happened

*i love learning.  i fear forgetting.  i have spent my entire life learning: studying my passions, traveling, world cultures, pursuing hobbies, teaching myself how to accomplish tasks, spiritual knowledge, personal goal setting, relationships.  i have the deepest fear of forgetting what i have learned

*the fear of wanting/needing something in the future and not knowing where to find it. this feeds into the ‘i bet i’m going to need that’ and the ‘i’ll have time to do that in the future’ categories of treasures.  

*i do not like spending money.  i am horrible at it and i know its annoying to go shopping with me.  i humph and haw over if i should buy something, get to the checkout and more likely than not, i put it back and leave.  we have struggled financially most of our married life and so if something is given to us or we have invested money in purchasing it, it is difficult to get rid of it, knowing that someday we might need it again and i don’t know if i could breakdown to buy it

*projects are my lifeline.  i feel like myself the most when i am creating and especially when i can take something that i see potential in its current less than luster state and transform it into something unique and beautiful.  as mike would say: one person’s junk is another persons treasure...so we have a ton of treasure for ‘another person’.  can i help it if i see potential in so many things around me?  it excites me to envision what a drab piece of furniture can become with the touch of my hands.

*we have moved 14 times in 15 years of marriage.  it has been rare to have felt like i am living in my own home enough to unpack everything.  not to say that i don’t feel the love and warmth of being in a home surrounded by my family.   i keep things, longing to find that place where i will feel settled, where i can unpack everything and then decide if i want it to be a part of my home.  it seems unnecessary to make the cut before i get there.  maybe in our next place, that thing will find its perfect spot right there.

at this point you are all thinking i am crazy
wondering how i’ve made it this far in my life

i have felt the freedom that comes with a clutter free mind and a clutter free space
and it is a beautiful feeling
but i also have anxiety attached to saying goodbye to things
for all the fears and struggles i have mentioned above
on my recent trip to Dallas
Mike in his sincere desire to lift my burdens
decided to clean out our master bedroom
what had become the storing place of the misfit items
he texted me a photo and it looked incredibly clean and lovely
but my first gut feeling was 
where did everything go
by now, you’ve diagnosed me with some sickness
and i’m sure there’s a name for it

do i want to stay one hundred percent like this for the rest of my life
absolutely not
it is definitely a goal of mine to remove unneeded items
which by my standard is difficult to do
but i’m ready to do it
what i will always place value will be frugality, reusability, creativity, and reminiscing
just i hope in a more sensical way
that doesn’t involve me needing to fill up our 3rd car garage as our non-digital cloud

epilogue:
after posting this my husband posted the following on facebook in response to my top photo:

I think it's important to note that the clutter/treasure in our garage and throughout our home does NOT look like the picture!
This picture is simply an attempt to put lipstick on a pig and I am incensed! Why not take a picture of our actual garage???

so in fairness i took an actual photo of our non-digital cloud
look how organized it is people
i could tell you what is in each of those bins and boxes
because i've OPENED all of them

tell me there’s someone out there who aligns some of their thoughts with what i just confessed.
and for those of you who are less attachment oriented than myself, how do i get started?

clutter or treasure?

I am fond of saying that my wife has kept everything since birth.  And it’s pretty close to the truth.  She still has stuffed animals from her childhood.  She has a personal ‘dewey-decimal’-like system for her childhood books.  She has kept all of her college textbooks, notes, and paperwork - “just in case”.  

“Just in case what?”, I ask! Just in case we are teleported back in time to the late 90‘s and your materials are still relevant and timely?  Just in case someone comes by the house and asks, “Hey do you have that Humanities textbook from 1998, cause my daughter is headed off to college and I think it could come in handy!”

We have an innumerable number of boxes in our garage that are “Just in Case” boxes.  Boxes that I have moved - unopened - for 15 years from house to house.  

There are other categories of clutter in our home as well.

Of course, we also have the boxes of ‘before-we-moved-into-the-digital-age’ stuff like photo prints, cds, movies, and similar items.  These boxes are just begging to be digitized and then vanish.  (In fact, I dream about having a ‘cloud’ for all non-digital stuff.  Now that would be cool.  Let’s just put these unfinished dining chairs into the cloud until we need them...unfortunately, the ‘cloud’ is our 3rd car garage at the moment.

Which leads me to the ‘i’m-gonna-get-to-this-project-soon’ category of stuff.  This takes up quite a bit of square footage in the household.  Armoires, old dining chairs, tables, wooden things, desks, pictures frames, old junk, and ‘I don’t even know what it’s called’ stuff take up space collecting dust, spiders, and who knows what else.

In 15 years, I have yet to start a sentence with, “I am so glad we kept...”

I’m a proponent of a system that allows for the disposal of stuff after a defined period of time has elapsed.  Say a year.  If this project/just in case box hasn’t been used in the year then out it goes!

I want to get a big bunch of fluorescent stickers and mark each item/box with an expiration time stamp.  If the item/box hasn’t been touched - meaningfully used - then it has passed its use-by date and it can be donated/discarded.

I know what they say: One persons junk is another persons treasure.  Well, excellent, we have a TON of treasure for ‘another person’.

Apparently there is some sort of emotional attachment to some of this stuff.  Briana has told me before that she keeps things as memories and if she gets rid of said memory she will forget about it.  My response: Take a (digital) photo of whatever it is and you can always have that to look at.  Bam!
And that is my side of the story!

10,000+ thank yous

sending out 10, 264 thank yous
to all you beautiful people
for helping me cross over the 10,000 page views for my blog this past month
this is a huge milestone for me

thank you to each of you who have
come and stayed
learned about who i am
who my hubby is
and who we are together with our four kids
and have come back again and again

who have commented
whether on facebook, instagram, or on here
pinned something that you liked
shared my blog with others via facebook
entered a giveaway
encouraged me about my writing

pinterest and facebook continue to be my leading traffic sources
and i am elated and humbled when i see you sharing my blog with others
you are all helping to make my dream come true of having a sustainable blog to help provide for my family
i have invested my soul in this space for seven years
and my heart is here with you
here in this place i have come to share and grow as my mind becomes clear as i write through those things that weigh me down so deeply
and through moments of epiphany realizing that what i already know
and what i already have is what brings me the greatest joy
faith, family, friends, creativity, opportunities to grow

so lets link arms and keep walking down this path further and further
there are so many places i would like to take you to
i think you'll continue to find me a happy companion
and i just might share my push pop and little debbie star crunch with you along the way

lets keep climbing
you
and
me
together

the other side of the weekend: being fed at every turn

mike and i took a leap of faith and sent me to dallas for the Nerium national convention this past weekend
loaded up with 45 bracelets that i planned to sell there to pay for my trip

i packed up my only business clothes that i had
threw in some high heels that i rarely wear but love any reason to
soon after mike came home from the store with his ‘dad’s alone with the kids’ food pyramid
{i could seriously hear my children’s arteries clogging}
i kissed my kiddos and hubby goodbye

i worried about leaving all the kids with mike
knowing his limitations
but i also knew of his incredible parenting skills and prayed all would be well
for weeks he has had the kids on a summer schedule
packed with morning preparation, scripture memorization, flashcard review, reading, snacktime, and physical fitness
no joke, this dad is a father of champions
with me taking the reins of providing for the family more
he has taken the lead on achieving some incredible things i have attempted to do with the kids for years
why is it that kids just seem to respond better to dad than mom
{read his side of our weekend here. packed with awesomeness and gross-outs}

i am not afraid to travel by myself but i still get nervous about logistical stuff like missing my flight and finding the right shuttle to the right terminal
the difference is that i only have myself to worry about instead of 5 other people
in san diego i parked my car in a park n ride place and hopped onto the shuttle
in a panic i looked for my phone only to discover i had left in my car
ugh.  i had to ask the shuttle driver to turn around
thankfully he was kind about it saying that this has happened before, mainly with women
i jumped out and found my phone on the driver’s seat
quickly returned to the shuttle
jumped in
only to realized that i didn’t lock my car
aww
i jumped back out and literally ran back to my car in my heels
locked it and headed back
an eventful start to my trip
thankfully i’m really good at laughing at myself

i love airports 
they give me a rush knowing i’m heading somewhere
i love to travel and married someone with the same love
if we could have it our way, we’d travel the world with our kids
and of course sometimes without them
i studied humanities in college
and am fascinated by the way others view the world and the beauty they create to capture their perspective and philosophies 

i love airplanes
i began flying by myself when i was about ten
my grandpa was a pilot
which enabled me to fly fairly inexpensively to go visit him and my grandma in park city, utah
my second home growing up
i love the thrill of taking off
that rush of sound and velocity
and being up above the clouds is so peaceful and causes for great reflection as you look down on the world below
just in case i was close to heaven i looked for daddy;)

during my two and a half hour flight i decided to take that time and blog
by hand writing on paper
something i haven’t done in a long time
the words seemed to flow naturally with the movement of my hand

from the moment i stepped on that shuttle after i arrived i was greeted by incredibly friendly people
all headed the same place for the same reason
to make their lives and the lives of others better
you can see it on their faces, you could hear it in their words, you could feel it in their embrace and greeting
the culture of this company is so unique and i tell you it changes you

the first night i stayed up til two chatting with some of the leaders in the company
people i knew the faces well having seen them on videos and on stage
it was rather intimidating at first, but their conversations put me at ease
and then guess what, something marvelous happened i slept in til 10
what??!!
i was in disbelief 
i could stop right there and the trip would have been worth it

as i was waiting for the conference to begin along with the other 10,000 people that were there
i was greeted by a text from mike sending me a card Tate wrote to Eyan from Eyan’s ‘girlfriend’

Eyan was not thrilled
i think its hilarious
you can see Eyan's scribble attempt to change this to be from Tate's girlfriend

throughout the three day conference i received a variety of texts from mike like this:
‘i’m so glad that you are there’
‘we’re out of wipes!!!!!’
‘you’re the best.’
‘i cannot tell you how proud i am of you... you are being incredible in going out trying to help us become financially independent and build something incredible.’
‘did you lay out clothes for felicity...she may or may not be in the same dress she was in when you left’
‘you’re the best. and i’m so glad you have been there. everything went real smooth here. but i’m ready to have you home!!!’

i am the luckiest woman in the world to have a husband who feeds into me like that
always building me up, always demonstrating confidence in me, always doing his best to be an incredible father
how can i be anything but successful when i have a constant influx of optimism and love coming my way 

those three and a half days were packed with continually feeding from those around me
my husband
my team
strangers
my leaders

heaven smiled upon me in placing me in a team of people who care about me and my family
jimmy is one of the leaders of our team and his continual inspiration played a large part in being able to hurdle over those initial months of self-doubt
he had encouraged me to make those 45 bracelets to sell
reassuring me that they would sell and he would help me to do it
one of the mornings we set up shop outside of the vast convention ballroom

i was overcome with gratitude as jimmy and his parents directed crowds of ladies over to my bracelets
calling out ‘have you heard about the Nerium bracelets...this is the girl’
to some people he happily shared my story
a mom with an ailing husband and four young children
working hard doing whatever she can to provide for her family
strangers came and hugged me, cheered me on, and bought my bracelets
one by one
tears of gratitude streamed down my face
this feeling of support and love from this culture continued
when jimmy handed me three one hundred dollar bills
i couldn’t believe what i was holding
i don’t know what he said, but he had shared my story with one of the ladies in corporate
she gave him the money to give to me from the company
i raced over to her and threw my arms around her
thanking her through tears for this generous gift
she told me it was from the company
to help pay for my trip and to go home to take care of my husband
she said, ‘this is what we do, we take care of our family.  and if you ever need anything else, please let me know.’
i couldn’t believe what i had just experienced
truly an affirmation of the company’s mission to make people better
and to create a culture of loving, caring, sharing

beside witnessing two major announcements for the company
that of the new daycream which supercharges the night cream for 24 hour anti-aging Nerium power
and the doubling of our commission structure with a builder bonus program
i learned so much about how to make small changes in my life to be better
better equipped to take care of my family and be a better version of me

favorite takeaways from the conference:

the more perspectives you see at the same time, the more success you can have
how are you looking at the world around you?
the words we use create a reality

we must seek to construct and change our view of reality through a more positive lens
we are used to looking at this photo and asking if we see it half empty or half full

we need to construct a new reality and what our brain focuses on
that those questions of half-empty or half-full don’t apply
a better question to ask is where is the pitcher
shawn achor ‘before happiness: the 5 hidden keys to achieving success, spreading happiness, and sustaining positive change’

your adversity is your advantage
your past has developed muscles not wounds
its not what you know, its what you do with what you know that matters
am i doing what i know?
you are the compound effect of the choices you’ve made up to this moment
success is not a result of heroic deeds or quantum leaps
success is a result of small, seemingly insignificant moment to moment choices
you will suffer one of two pains..the pains of discipline or the pain of regret...james rohn
the pain of discipline weighs ounces, the pain of regret weighs tons
darren hardy ‘the compound effect’

know who you are, where you’re going, and how you’re going to get there
people want to make a difference
turn people from a receiver to a transmitter and you can start changing people’s lives
people join this company for the product and the comp plan
they stay to make people better
i’m in the making people better business
we are looking for people who fearlessly believe in the mission
willing to give up something to make it happen
willing to do the thing that you said you committed to long after the mood has left
willing to build your dreams
willing of being accused of being driven
to succeed you must be willing to show up consistently over a long period of time, with desire and faith, willing to pay the price and do it with integrity
jeff olson ‘the slight edge’ ceo and founder of nerium

its not stepping on God’s toes to dream big
imagination is given by God
you can imagine, it separates us form the rest of God’s creatures
learn to manage choice and the gift of imagination
we are commanded to multiply stuff
{see the parable of the talents}
multiplying what i’ve got is what i’m expected to do
it is natural human instinct to ask ‘when can i rest?’
you can rest with the abundance of achievement
we must give ourselves permission to fail
however we have to learn to lose without being defeated
david byrd, ‘the next level achievement system’

as you can see i was indeed richly fed
ready to come home and be a better mother, wife, friend, teammate, and person
truly this experience has been a blessing from a loving Heavenly Father
who continues to tell me that i can do this
i can be successful at providing for my family
and he will continue to put tools and people in my path to accomplish that

what experiences and words have inspired you to be a better you?