loving your post-baby body

to love yourself is a gift you give yourself

to love the way you look is the bow on top

we all have beliefs within us that shape the way we see the world and ourselves

possibly outside forces turned into inner thoughts

we repeat again and again

for me the way i look right now is a result of lots of those

lots of hard things 

but my smile and the way i carry myself despite my weight

tells me that despite the hard i choose to focus on the joy

yes i initially wince when i see photos of myself still

but i then i look at the happiness that i see in myself and i try to allow it to outshine the shape of my body

i was so happy to have had a studio full of mamas and babies on my podcast

as we candidly discuss experiences and feelings about body image post-baby 

with a panel of three incredible moms. 

Michelle Petersen from The Mumsy Blog 

fashion blogger Brittany Maddux 

and Roxana Baker of Roxana B Photography 

we openly shared our struggles with the way we view ourselves 

and even moments when we have wondered who that girl is looking back in the mirror 

we dive into what experiences and beliefs have shaped our view of what we should look like 

and how we work on safeguarding our own children from an unhealthy body image 

what we struggle with varies but we each relate the things that have helped us through moments of definite discouragement 

and what we would say to someone struggling with this right now 

and for those still planning on having more children, what they 

(because you know I do not fall in that category) 

would do differently during their next pregnancy to prepare for their post-baby body. 

you are not alone

whether you have given birth to children or not – 

it is something we all struggle with

and we hope our very candid responses help you to feel that

listen to our podcast on The LifeBeats Project here
Winning your battle with your post-baby body image | with Brittany Maddux, Michelle Petersen, and Roxana Baker (TLBP #29)

we were joined by lifestyle blogger Alycia Crowley

for an opportunity to work with Shabby Apple

-the clothing store dedicated to celebrating the beauty in you-

to celebrate and honor our post-baby bodies
with a photo shoot by Roxana B Photography

and you can get in on the celebration too 

with our huge giveaway of five dresses

hop on over to my Instagram @lifebeatsproject for more details today Sept 14 at 10 am MST 

giveaway lasts til Sept 17 at 10 am

for me choosing clothes is tricky

i loved how many options Shabby Apple had available and in a variety of sizes

i choose clothes that have some structure like the seaming on the bodice

and have some illusion of angles like the belt wrap and flare skirt

i love color and love the way it makes me feel when i wear it

check out the other girls' blog posts on their thoughts on self-acceptance, body image, 

and their choice in clothing

moms living happy: our new adventure, you and me

every once in awhile something seems to fall from the sky and land in your lap that was just meant to be

i know better

what would seem like some random fruit falling from the tree 

is more like a heat seeking missile with your heart's signature as its target

something designed for an impact just for you

this is how i feel about Moms Living Happy

a project that will change the way we look at ourselves as mothers

and which will reach out to the corners of the earth and bring together a community of moms who despite life's vicissitudes choose happiness

i am honored to be a co-founder in this brilliant endeavor 

to step into the homes of countless such moms 

and tell their courageous stories in video form

your story

you

and you

and you

so how are we going to hear your story

or the story of your inspiring friend, neighbor, or own mother

we need to hear from you

email us your stories at momslivinghappy@gmail.com

and who knows we could meet in your living room with a film crew 

to tell a story that needs to be told

of Moms Living Happy

so hope on over and see what we are all about

subscribe to our newsletter so you won't miss a single inspiring story

head on over to 

everything is awesome: my valentines day crew

everything is awesome

happy valentine's day 

from my growing crew

amidst the complexities of life, little tate's sweet inquiry as to if i was going to make them valentine's day shirts this year, ensured that the simple things that preserve the structure of family life as they know it remains strong

traditions

traditions keep our family identity alive

and give so much to look forward to

to read about out how our family valentine's day tshirts tradition began, read here 

our traditional jump shot

their absolute favorite

eyan definitely wins this year's best jump

felicity steals the show once again for her daddy

this little cutie pie is daddy's best buddy

simplicity was the name of the game this year

but its always a challenge to come up with a design the boys will wear

i have strict instructions are our first year's design, that no hearts are allowed

so i stuck to something that has been chiming repeatedly in our house for months

as i am sure in so many of yours as well

can you even say it without singing

everything is awesome

everything is awesome

i used my silhouette cameo to design this stencil i cut out on freezer paper

you can see my freezer paper tutorial here

as much as i love seeing changes in my children from year to year

i secretly or not so secretly wish for them to be frozen in time

happy valentine's day to you and your crew

our past year's valentines t-shirts:

3 mr rights and a little miss

my valentine bowlermen and miss charleston

love rocks

check out my tutorials for tshirt appliqué and free hand cutting & freezer stencils

my Christmas wish

as the list of things that i should be doing are adding up in my mind
i am drawn at this time to reflect on some quiet moments that have transpired in our life the past little while
i have missed writing
for this is how i truly am able to reflect on the goodness in my life

as many of you know mike has begun treatments for his MS up here in utah where we have moved for a variety of reasons
but mainly to be close to a specialist we feel confident in and have easy access to
due to the nature of the progression of mike’s disease
some days, lots of days are just plain hard
in my mind and i think in the minds of others 
making this huge change in our life must have equated to the lessening of daily difficulty
if not for that
then why would we have moved
well the truth is that we have seen many moments of illumination that have shown us that indeed this is the place we need to be
we have already seen blessings in various aspects of our life
we know that a path of tremendous growth and hope is before us
but the weight of what remains the same and even the weight of what has changed 
lies heavy

what remains the same

mike continues to struggle in a very big way
physically, emotionally, and mentally
it is a daily battle
hearing him laugh and seeing the relaxation of his face when the pain has lessened are two of my favorite things right now
the humility and gratitude i see in him makes me love him more and more
i feel a tremendous honor to be his wife

what has changed

mike is no longer able to work due to a dramatic decline in his cognition
we have been sustained by the benevolent generosity of family
and i have been giving all i’ve got to my Nerium business
with full confidence that soon it will be able to put us on a path of independence
mike is my biggest champion
as i am my own worst enemy some days
i admire moms who have worked while raising their children
i admire men and women who have the fire of confidence with the skills of communication and the ability to inspire
i admire those who work with laser focus on what they want for the good of their family and don’t let rejection or obstacles get in their way

i tell you i am being stretched and molded into a woman i never knew i could become
one that never would have been uncovered had the need for me to rise not have been there
one who has had to rely heavily on the Lord
as well as newly acquired knowledge though good books of all varieties
and persons of great influence and motivation
all lending to the building up of a woman of greater courage and drive
but along this path of digging for deeper conviction and leadership capabilities
those qualities that need to be attended to most have been widely exposed
and sometimes for a vast public to see
those deeply rooted insecurities or inadequacies are paraded in front of my eyes and in front of so many others
a long line of them
i have put myself out there for all to witness not only my successes but my struggles
but as you see me pick myself up over and over and over
i hope that above all you will see that as i lift my head up again and again 
that my gaze 
my step 
my direction 
continues to be drawn toward what it is i must do and who i must do it for
at times i hope i will glance down to see who it is that is carrying me and give much thanks

two such moments i would like to share with you

a few nights ago
was one of those moments when the weight just seemed so great
one of those times in which the heaviness of what you carry causes the strength in your legs to give out
i found myself flat on my knees alone in our front room 
only the light of the Christmas tree to illuminate the tears running down my cheeks
no one else to hear the gasping cries escaping my lips in bursts of sound
so i thought
i looked up to see Owen standing in the doorway gazing down on me
without word he quickly came to my side 
knelt down next to me
not as i had, flat to my knees
but kneeling tall so that when he wrapped his arm around me at my side he was taller than i
he simply asked me, ‘are you missing grandpa?’ 
to which i replied ‘yes’...i kept the array of other looming thoughts to myself
i looked over at my son and felt his arm around me
not as a child but as a man who had come to comfort and rescue his mother
i felt of his strength
i felt of his faith
and i felt of the love he had for me
and indeed i felt rescued

i knew i had to write this down 
for i never want to forget that moment of tenderness between us

then last night as i came home late
i looked upon our counter to find a lovely basket of food and something peculiar in the center
a mason jar
at first i didn’t comprehend what was inside
could it be, no
a jar full of change and bills
there was a note accompanying it and i quickly reached for it looking to discover the bearer of such a gift
waves of tears overcame me as i read the sweet poem attached 
which in part reads:

we collected all year our dollars and dimes
and hoped we could save enough just in time
we prayed to know who to give this jar to
Heavenly Father’s answer said it was you
we hope you will feel the Savior’s Love
and know that this gift is from Heaven above

this family whoever they are filled their year with the intent to bless the lives of others at just this moment
and God himself knew of our need and directed their sweet hearts to our doorstep
i shook with gratitude and felt the warmth of my Savior’s love

in church this past week
i had the opportunity to address our congregation on a topic that i have been thinking much about
not only believing in Christ, in who He is, but believe Christ, believe His words
believing He will do what He said He would do
to not merely be an advisor or a champion or a counselor
but be our actual Savior, our Redeemer
to trust in His care and heeding His simple admonitions

‘let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid’ *
‘doubt not, fear not’ *
‘be of good cheer, for I will lead you along’ *

when i truly understand what He has done for me
i am happy
i shine forth
i carry myself with a perfect brightness of hope
i let the promises i have made to Him shine through my face 
even in times of difficulty and distress

this is my Christmas wish
to let this Child who was Born unto Us
enter as the Prince of Peace into my heart and life
that with the lifting of my heart and the lightening of my step
the joy returns to my countenance 
and my soul is filled with His redeeming love

Merry Christmas to you my sweet friends
may this Prince of Peace enter into your heart and life
this Christmas season and throughout your coming year

blue christmas blog hop: moments frozen in time

i am so happy to have been able to participate in this year's 

blue christmas blog hop 

with some fabulous bloggers

krista @ The Happy Housie

sarah @ Life on Virginia Street

amy @ The Blissful Bee

amber @ Averie Lane

rachel @ Maison de Pax

amy @ Commona My House

this week's feature is trees

be sure to check out previous weeks posts

mantles

wreaths/wall decor {my diy for radiator grate Christmas ornament holder}

ornaments {my diy for spray plasti dip pine cones}

since our tree has yet to be purchased

{can Christmas really be coming so soon}

i decided to highlight some of my favorite Christmas moments from last year

i am so happy that these are frozen in time

since our lives have changed so drastically since then

the giddiness of gifts received

my decision to wrap pretty with homemade touches so that opening presents was pretty too 

it was so worth it

the awe of Legos

the gift from a friend of our tree

homemade cards and presents exchanged amongst the boys

homeruns on mike's gifts

love my little family of six

the attention and careful protection of brothers to sister

little toes venturing on her own

wishing you all a Christmas full of moments worthy of being frozen in time
it was a delight to meet you new readers
i hope you will venture back soon

from a dancing chicken to a positive self-image: the power of daily affirmations for you and your children

ok so how many of you have done daily affirmations
you know, that thing when you say great things about yourself aloud
i mean, don’t we always say nice things about ourselves
well if you fall into the ‘saying nice things to myself out loud is cheesy and weird’ camp 
you have been in good company with me
until now

doing something new in your life that requires you to stretch and grow is hard work
it makes you reach down deep inside and pull out everything you’ve got
it takes all your insecurities and parades them straight in front of your face
you step out of that comfort zone and into that arena for the world to watch you squirm and struggle as you take those initial unsteady steps 

the subjection of ourselves to the scrutiny of our own doubts and the world’s peering eyes
makes it rather difficult to want to stay on that course
of ‘the new’
the dream
the quest
the change
and especially long enough to reach that other side
the side of accomplishment, success, fulfillment, triumph
for by the time you have crossed over into those things
most of the work has already been done

so how can we stay the course
for we all know why we must
why we want to
why we continue to place ourselves in positions to grow, change, dream
but that ‘why’ is different for every one of us
what makes us get up and try again after a fall is different for you and me

as i have been on this journey of being a new business owner and building my success story
a legacy for my family and those of you who link arms with me in the process
my ‘why’ has grown 
but what has gotten in the way of achievement has been myself
my own doubts
my own fears
in myself
those self-sabotaging thoughts and barbed wire i placed around my dreams as i wrote about here 

so how have i overcome them and turned them off
oh they are still there
they creep in whenever i give them a crack of opening into my mind
and even the little ones that leak in are loud and echoing
you’re not good enough
you’re inexperienced
you’ll never be as successful as them
what makes you think you can do this

i think you know them all too well

during my trip to Baltimore for Nerium i experienced something different that i had never experienced before
something that pierced me to the very heart and brought me to tears
it was the power of affirmations
in a room full of 5,000 people a man named Mark Michaud stood on stage and asked for our participation in an experiment
he first asked us stand up and act like we had won a million dollars
yell, scream, jump up and down
however we would act and really mean it
i have to say that i felt very apprehensive standing up
you know that feeling you had at camp or at your music performance when you had to flap your arms like a chicken or do some painful choreography of acting like a dead tree
yeah it was kind of like that at first
but as i looked around and saw others exploding with excitement
hugging each other, screaming, waving their arms in the air
the energy was palpable and contagious
i felt the temperature rise inside of me as i began to join them in the jubilation of winning a million dollars
Mark then instructed us to then take that excitement and with that feeling of positive energy and true belief
repeat loudly after him
wait...what?
we’re going to do that thing where i say nice things about myself?
out loud?

but i just went with it
with all the energy and belief i could muster

and then it began

i am a leader
i am a winner
i am changing the world
i control my destiny
i am strong
i am courageous
i overcome challenges positively
i help people daily
i am a warrior
i am unstoppable
i love my life
i am grateful
i am worthy
i can do anything
i am a champion
this is my time
this is my time
this is my time

as i yelled out these words i was transformed
i felt of their truthfulness in my soul
i am strong
i am worthy
these two particularly struck me to the core as i repeated these for the world to hear
it changed me

why is it so hard for us to think so positively about ourselves
if we are not going to believe these things about us
who will we believe
we must realize the impact our underlying thoughts play out in all of our actions
we need to fix our thinking

on that plane ride home as i sat there in the rays of the sun
i thought about the impression saying those simple things about myself made
and i thought about my children
how do i want them to think about themselves
how do i want them to think about who they are now, who they can become, what they can dream and achieve
i decided that these daily affirmations needed to be a part of our routine
and so it began

each morning on the way to school we take turns thinking of something wonderful that we just won or received
a trip to Disneyland
an endless supply of Legos
a house on top of the mountain
a million dollars
a trip to Paris

Felicity now chimes in
‘what did you win Mom’

and then we channel that enthusiasm into our daily affirmations
or good words
{we are trying to come up with a more kid-friendly term...suggestions welcome}
sometimes one person is in charge
sometimes we take turns

i am awesome
i am obedient
i am a worker
i am a winner
i am strong
i am a champion
i am a child of God
i like Legos
{somehow they are always involved}

i confess there have been many mornings i have not wanted to do this
some mornings we are running late
the fight over the front seat becomes intolerable
so and so breathed on me
and the tone of our excitement and decibel level may vary
but we have done it every day
i want my children to feel of the power of a positive self-image
i want my children to know from a young age that they are worthy of achievement
whatever form that may come in
they are worthy
we all are

i have read that how you speak to your children will become the voice in their head
but i would say that how you speak to yourself about yourself truly is that voice
what does it say to you
what will you believe

i challenge you to try some daily affirmations
you may feel like a dancing chicken on a stage at first but i promise it will change you

how has a positive self-image helped you achieve your goals and dreams?
how have you instilled that in your own children?

featured author on Power of Moms today

this morning i am honored to have my post

'the parable of the swing'

featured by the incredible organization Power of Moms

one dedicated to strengthening deliberate mothers in their day to day efforts of 

building, fostering, and molding

each member of their family

you may recall that i was able to attend a Power of Moms retreat in Las Vegas

this organization is filled with powerhouse women who dedicate their lives to the cause of motherhood

arming mothers with the tools, knowledge, and a confidence to thrive in this most important work

their community is one of sharing and support

a place to draw upon the insights of women of all experiences, faiths, and beliefs

i truly am grateful to be a part of such organization and team of women

thank you to these ladies for this opportunity to share a brief little moment i had with felicity which opened my eyes to how to face my own falls

my failures, my bumps and bruises

through her little tumble off the swing

i would love for you swing on by over here

read this little parable

and comment to show support to such an incredible group working tirelessly to do a world of good among the mothers of the nations

who is that girl?

***

there have been a lot of private battles over the past couple of weeks
yes even for me
one who is very open in sharing
but you all must know that beneath all that i share
lies a whole other level of grief, loneliness, refinement, and sacred joy
some of which only my family knows
some of which only the dearest of friends know
and still the deepest of which no one but the Lord knows

there has been a battle that has been raging on for some time
which has been heightened by this move
by Mike's continual decline in health
by my continual reflection of who i am
what defines me

as i move forward in this new life
i seem to move further away from the girl that i know
that girl i grew accustomed to seeing when i gazed in that mirror

who is that girl?

this morning my heart is full for friendship
the kind that looks at you and sees you
not for the things that you would define yourself as
but looks at you and sees you as the sum of those minute transformations you have experienced and are currently experiencing
who sees all that reigns down upon you to shape you
those things that are just plain brutal and hurt
who sees all those seemingly small triumphs in your character
as well as those grand achievements and blessings of joy
who knows you for the person you are
the person you battle to not be
and the one you battle to be

today i relinquish the rest of my battle story to my dear friend leslie
whose friendship is that very kind
whose words share my heart with you
to be brave
and not shrink at the battlefront of tearing down what i would define myself as
but to be bold in unearthing beneath that all
the reflection of myself that would most reflect Him

please travel with me over to her blog
my happily ever after
to her post 'who is that in the mirror?'

i'd love to hear from you:
have you ever experienced such drastic transformation that at one point you didn't recognize yourself?
how did you feel and what did you do to accept that unearthed you?

***purchase print by storytellingart here

we've got a kleptomaniac in the family

after arriving home from my trip to Utah this past weekend
i dropped my purse and went upstairs to talk with Mike
big mistake
upon realizing that I had left my phone downstairs
i went to retrieve it, finding it missing
there was only one possible explanation
felicity

this little girl has become an absolute kleptomaniac
secure anything you want to stay in its place because if its out or in an unlocked drawer its free game for sticky fingers felicity
we have found crazy items stashed in her purse, behind her rocking chair or in her closet
computer mouse, my lipstick which made its way onto the mouths of her dollies and stuffies, foreign currency, marbles, toothbrushes, open jar of peanut butter
and the latest addition
mike’s debit card

i asked her if she took my phone
she remained silent
her little shoulder raising up to her chin as she tilted her head to the side
her big brown eyes looking guilty as charged
after a little more encouragement on my part
she confessed to the robbery

she had taken my phone, put it in her hello kitty backpack 
and huffed it up the ladder of owen’s backyard clubhouse and threw it on the roof

once again we needed to have an intervention with her

     me: felicity, don’t take anything that doesn’t belong to you
     felicity: i don’t even know what that means
     me: you don’t take anything that is not felicity’s
     felicity: i want my own phone

i had to turn away because i was dying laughing
my three year old had just told me that she needed her own phone
and if you could see her face, you would know she was serious

this little girl keeps us laughing 
oh how we wish we could freeze her in time
preserving all the three year old felicityisms that we love
never ending stories and prayers
her photo-ready pose of hands on hips and tilt of her head
daddy’s little helper of handing him his spritz, spritz {cologne} and deode every single morning
who wants to be just like dad by putting on deode herself right onto her shirt

and even the her mischievous artist self that colors murals on her walls, ‘hair-fed’ {forehead}, and walls 
as seen below in her tale of the blue marker

and makes it snow in her room by pulverizing styrofoam all over her carpet

its never a dull moment with our baby girl

and as long as our phones and debit cards are recovered

we wouldn't have it any other way