Thursday, December 10, 2015

the time has come: a wheelchair for Mike

the time has come
the doctors said it would be twenty
but its been six
Mike needs a wheelchair

it is pretty crazy how things have progressed so quickly in such a short period of time
and i don’t just mean the progression of Mike’s Multiple Sclerosis
i’m talking about Mike and I’s view on things

when Mike was first diagnosed I tried to will my will onto him
try this
read this
do this
don’t do this
all in the name of love of course
i’m a fixer and it has been rather torturous not to be able to ‘fix’ this
Mike’s will is his own and it took me awhile to understand that
and to see that this strong will of his would in fact be a large reason he would thrive the way he has amidst such trial

he needed to come to decisions on his own
and i have learned how to give my input without guilting him into following it
we have gone through stages of ‘fixes’
natural remedies
physical therapy
and then alongside these have been the stages of his physical decline where i wanted him to accept help
from others
from a cane
from a walker
from a wheelchair
but he needed to come to terms with things on his own time
some of which he still refuses
and i have had to accept it at varying times along the way

i had to accept that he would crawl up stairs instead of asking for help or allowing me to move our TV downstairs
i had to accept that he would cook as long as he could using a chair sometimes to sit on and sometimes as a stabilizer behind him for support and balance
because he knew that cooking was my number one stress and he loved to do it
i had to accept that he would sweep the kitchen floor while cries of pain would inadvertently escape his lips
i have had to accept so many things that i saw as hurting him 
but he saw as retaining his purpose, his pride, his worth, his display of love, his ability to be a father and husband
he is the very best of men
all who know him know this

so when friends reached out to us to start a campaign to help us get a wheelchair 
a wheelchair accessible vehicle
and a wheelchair friendly home
i knew it wasn’t up to me
it was up to him to decide to accept the help or not
its tough being in a position of such need when your heart cries out to just give to others
but we have learned that through accepting help,
although painfully humbling at times,
has brought us lasting friendships and breathing room just when it was needed most
we are so grateful for the human desire to lift one another
we have felt it from each of you
your kindness sustains us

upon finally agreeing to this fundraiser after many ‘no’s
the idea of a wheelchair really sunk in
a wheelchair
isn’t that something so confining, so restrictive
doesn’t that mean all hope is lost
Mike and I have come to see a wheelchair as just the opposite
freedom for Mike to reserve his energy for other activities instead of painfully walking with concentrated effort to move each foot
freedom to get outside of our house for our sons’ sports games
freedom from falling frequently

it has taken us a long time to wrap our mind around this view of a wheelchair

with the hope this campaign has brought
Mike had a wheelchair rep visit our home with a snazzy model to test drive that would give him all the support he would need
one that will be ready for his continued decline as years progress

i have to admit as Mike texted me a photo and an accompanying video of him in the wheelchair
i was not prepared for what i saw
although my intellect told me that a wheelchair would bring freedom
this image hit me like a ton of bricks and i walked outside my work to cry in private
how could we be here already
how could this be our reality
how could this man who would run to the ends of the earth to help someone else
be destined for this

forgive me as these emotions are still fresh
my intellect will catch up to them and will speak reason to bring me around again soon

the reality is here
whether i am ready or not
and with your help we can set Mike free

thank you to those who have contributed already
named or anonymous
your generosity and kindness are making a real impact on our life
we love you all

to find out more about Mike’s story and our journey with Multiple Sclerosis check out these posts here

to find our more about the campaign ‘Go Big Because its Mike’ click here or go straight to the Fundly page here


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