Thursday, June 14, 2012

i want to be a finisher

i want to be a finisher.
for every one finished project i post here on my blog or adorns my home,
there are upwards of twenty unfinished projects haunting me around my home and garage.
i want to be a finisher,
the girl who finishes what she's started

today i spent unplanned hours working on a sweet little quilt that i started making last night at my sewing class.  despite enjoying the process of making this car seat quilt because it seems like a doable first quilt, the process is not why i kept on.
do i need to finish it soon?
do i even know who i'm making it for?
no and no
but as i pieced and ironed and cut and sewed i had one thing on my mind...
i've got to finish this
it is not going to become another unfinished project for the pile
i must finish

alas as i was whisking tiny hands away from fabric pieces, scissors, and tape
i realized that i was acting crazy
because of this drive to finish i hadn't even realized that i was continuing to work in my front room unnecessarily, long after my class was over, when i have a my own 'creative studio' to my disposal.
isn't that the purpose of a sewing/craft room?
to be able to leave unfinished projects out and work on later
to have a space that you don't need to worry about stray hands picking up scissors
or jelly hands smearing project pieces with bright red goo

i tell you i was mesmerized, determined to a crazy level that i was going to finish
i have this fear that once i stop, i may never finish
is this a baseless fear?
sadly no, as this is the truth a large part of the time
it takes its place among half sewn pajamas, unpainted chairs, and banners that read 'happy birt'

sadly the time to stop had to come
life around you does keep going even when you are in the midst of a focused trance
it caught up to me and i had to stop

after i put my sweet little unfinished quilt in my creative studio
my heart feels a little defeated and truly fearful
do i need to finish it soon?
do i even know who i'm making it for?
no and no
but i just want to be a finisher.
i want to say, yes!  i started this and finished it. i am a finisher.


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