The Best Kind of Medicine

There are a few sounds that instantaneously change my mood for the better:  the ocean surf, Pachelbel's Canon in D, the sweet song of this bird outside my bedroom window, the wind through aspen leaves, "Groove is in the Heart" by Dee-Lite, and my Daddy's laugh.  It has been such a blessing to be able to hear my Daddy laugh lately.  Really its infectious.  And its not just the sound of his laughter but his complete facial expression, especially the way his face turns beet red and his eyes squint when he's trying really hard not to laugh.  

We are blessed to live so close that we are able just to drop by often.  A few days ago I found one of Dad's CDs in my garage, a Bill Cosby comedy act.  I knew he would love it and it just might be the "medicine" he needed to keep his mind off his nausea, headaches, and exhaustion.  The kids and I brought it to him and he invited us to listen with him.  He told us how when he was a boy his family would sit around the record player listening to Bill Cosby and his tales of boyhood and fatherhood.  As we listened I loved watching my Daddy laugh with my boys on the sofa.  I'm pretty sure they got some new mischievous ideas about what to do in their bedroom at night.  The comedy act was full of amusement that hit real close to home.  In truth they didn't need Bill Cosby for new ideas.  For one thing they all sleep in the same room, so its chalk full of nightly giggles and loud bangs, and for another thing, they could just get all sorts of ideas straight out of grandpa's boyhood stories -- most of which have not been revealed to us kids and are anxiously awaited to be told each time my Dad's brothers are around.  We pry for more stories of my grandparents coming home to all the furniture being moved to the roof or a newly placed picture over a fresh hole in the wall.

I am grateful for laughter.  And thankfully we have plenty of it in our family.  I love that we have fun when we are together.  I think being together at my parents' house is another good form of medicine for my Dad. It is hard to see him struggle, but I think only us adults notice.  As grandpa, he's still the same!

Flew the Coop

Today we welcomed my Daddy home after 12 long days in the hospital.  A banner adorning the garage door reads, "Welcome Home Daddy. We Love U Grandpa!"  Banners are a tradition with our family, dating back to those awesome days of dot matrix printers with the hole punched perforated trimmed paper.  I always prefer the hand drawn ones myself.  The boys had fun coloring in the letters of "GRANDPA" and tracing their hands.  

My Daddy was not feeling so great today after enduring 3 days of chemotherapy, but he was thrilled to be out of the hospital.  He said that the smell was driving him crazy:-)  The smell.  That's hilarious, out of all of the things that would drive you crazy about the hospital, it was the smell that did it for Daddy.  Owen, Eyan, Felicity, and I went to visit him last night.  All the nurses were loving Dad since he would feed them all the delicious goodies that friends had been bringing him.  Dad told his nurse last night that he was breaking out of this chicken coop today.  He was in great spirits last night.  

Today he looked beat and worn out, exhibiting obvious pain and nausea.  Poor Daddy.  I am sure it will be great to sleep in his own bed, with his own pillow, next to my sweet Mommy.  

The official diagnosis is yet to be determined, with the pathologists still not giving a stamp of approval.  The doctor is standing firm with his assessment of the form of lymphoma being lymphoplasmacyctic, an uncommon classification which involves the B cells in the plasma and an increase in the IgM protein in the blood.  This increase of protein in my Dad's blood is what caused most of his scary symptoms because it made the blood so thick that it couldn't flow properly in his body.  While in the hospital he had to have plasmaferesis, a treatment which replaced my dad's protein-ladened plasma with fresh plasma.  The difference in my father after even his first treatment was extraordinary.

We continue to pray for everyday miracles as he proceeds with his weekly check-ups and chemotherapy every 3 weeks.  It is difficult to watch my father whom I have always viewed as superhuman with superhuman strength and ability, be so vulnerable and susceptible to human conditions.  I know he will be victorious in this battle.  He has too, he's my Daddy.

Something I Thought I'd Never Have to be Grateful For...

Truthfully I don't know where to begin.

Thanks to all of you who have kept my Daddy and our family in your prayers and thoughts, for those who participated in the fast, some even fasting for the very first time.  Thank you for the calls, the messages, the visits, the yummy comfort food at the hospital, the help with my kids-even when they've been cranky and/or sick.  Thank you.

Last night we gathered in my Daddy's hospital room as the doctor told us the news.  The pathologists and the doctor are still in disagreement as to the exact disease which my father has, but all agree that it is some type of lymphoma...cancer...that horrible word I can barely bring myself to say.  There are 50 types of lymphoma and they are still running tests on his bone marrow to distinguish exactly which type he has.  The doctor however is very sure that he knows which type it is and has reassured us that is treatable and generally curable and feels like the pathologists-who are even disagreeing amongst themselves- will be in agreement today.

After seeing my father in the worst state I have ever seen and then imagining all these possible reasons why and having them marinate in my mind for over a week, it was amazing how comforted I felt when the doctor said that it was treatable and curable.  I didn't ever think that I would have to been grateful that my Daddy has a treatable and curable cancer.

It has been a roller coaster of emotions and I know we have really only just started this battle.  Many months of treatment and tests are to come.  I am already physically and emotionally exhausted.  I can't even imagine what my mother must feel, what my father feels.  What I do know, I know for a surety.  Heavenly Father loves my father.  He is one of His most valiant servants.  I know He is watching over him and my family.  I know my family is eternal through the ordinances of His Holy Temple.  I know my Savior has felt my father's pain and has taken it upon himself through His Atonement.  We must have faith and hope.  Please remind me of this testimony as time goes on.  I will need to rely on it.

Please continue to pray for us, continue to offer service, continue to lift our spirits.  Thank you all so so very much!

Thank you for Prayers

Yesterday we witnessed a miracle in my daddy as he exhibited a dramatic improvement from his condition on Sunday.  Thank you so very very much for all of those who participated in the fast and who kept him and our family in their thoughts and prayers.  Your continued prayers are very needed as this may be a long road ahead.  My mother is carrying such heavy burdens and my heart aches for her.  We still have not received the results of the ominous tests, but we hope to receive word soon.

I was able to spend most of the day at the hospital with my daddy and most of my immediate family.  It was a comforting feeling being able to be there together.  We felt of your strength, faith, and love.  We know that 100s if not 1000s of people participated in the fast, and that is simply a tender mercy of our Heavenly Father.  It is truly a manifestation of the goodness of mankind, God's children.  To turn your hearts, thoughts, and actions toward someone else and their well-being is such a testimony of man's inner desire to be good, to do good, and to be surrounded by goodness.

This morning in our family devotional we sang the hymn, "Did you think to pray?"  We felt the truthfulness of the words "prayer can change the night to day" and the reminder "So when life gets dark and dreary, don't forget to pray"  I am thankful for the comfort we receive in song.  For me, music draws the comforting arms of my Savior closer.  My dear friend shared song with me that helped her during some scary times, and I'd love to share it with you.

When my world is shaking, heaven stands   

When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands  

Your hands that shape the world  

Are holding me   

They hold me still. 

I ask for your continued prayers for my sweet Daddy, for my loving mother, for strength and optimism for me, for Felicity who feels my tension and has been so cranky, for my little sister on her mission in France, for all of my family, for the doctors.  Thank you!

Fast for my Daddy

Dear family and friends,

It is with an aching heart that I ask for your help this evening.  My extraordinary father, my sweet daddy has been in the hospital for about a week and has been suffering much for a lot longer.  We are still not sure what is wrong with him.  He has undergone many, many tests from which we hope to receive answers in a few days.  Tonight I ask you if you would join my family in a special fast tomorrow on behalf of my father, Russell.  For us, fasting is an added power to prayer alone.  Fasting is not to just go without food for a certain period of time, it intensifies prayers and invites the Holy Ghost into our life for the purpose of bringing ourselves and our prayers closer to God.  Thank you all so much.

With love,

Briana

August 2010: Snips and Shoes

Well I did it!  I snipped it off.  Wow did it feel great.  I have to say that as much as I love long hair, I love having short hair so much more.  It allows me to feel put together in a short amount of time, and for a mom of 4, that is fabulous!  Thanks for all your words of encouragement.  For the most part I have received great compliments on my new do.  There have been a couple of exceptions, my favorite being, "you didn't mean to cut your hair that short did you?"  Brilliant!

I love this photo!!  Felicity and I are outside the Mt. Timpanogos Temple where my brother Jesse and his gorgeous bride Jani were married.  {I'll post more of their wedding in upcoming posts}  Felicity is of course only wearing one shoe and I am fiddling with the other adorably stubborn gold sandal.  Mike often inquires as to why Felicity 'wears' shoes.  I use that term lightly, which makes Mike's point exactly, due to the fact that one or both of them are usually missing.  She likes to shuffle her feet quickly back and forth causing her shoes to come off.  She is hilarious.  She has such a distinct personality already.  Does she realize the importance of a carefully selected shoe to any ensemble?  I am guessing not yet, but I'm going to try my best to make sure she learns that one early!

September 2010: My Bathing Beauty

Here's my little bathing beauty, Little Miss Felicity.  I realize that you all have been deprived of seeing photos of our baby girl, so I was determined to share a few recent ones with you.  These are two of my favorites.  

Felicity love love loves the pool.  Not just because she has such stylin' sunglasses or a darling bathing suit, but because she can splash splash splash in the water.  She is a riot to watch as her little legs pump up and down and her arms become wings flapping in the water.  She doesn't even flinch when her brothers splash water right into her face from jumping into the pool.  Of course since I am in the pool with her and am diligently watching my boys like a hawk since they are still not great at swimming, I have yet to capture her joy of being in the water on camera.  Thank you Mom and Dad for getting a pool.  Such a great thing it has been for us to enjoy in these hot hot days of late summer.

August 2010: Learn 2 Love 2 Sew

Sewing machine photo pendant by lemonroom

Yes, I am on to yet another project, a new sewing and wearable craft group, that my friend Heather and I will be teaching out of my home.  It is just the right amount of push I need to get a few of the sewing projects I have been wanting to do, done.  Check us out and join us if you'd like at www.learn2love2sew.blogspot.com  The group will compromise of a lot of beginning sewers is my guess, so come on over, no need to be shy or intimidated; just a "supportive sewing sisterhood".

Parenting: Touching the Hearts of Our Youth

Love this little video. It was such a sweet reminder for me to try a little harder to listen and really try to connect with my children. Thought I would share!

Parenting: Touching the Hearts of Our Youth

July 2010: To Chop or Not to Chop, That is the Question

photocard from staceywinters

So I'm guessing it was about 9 months ago at least that Mike suggested I grow my hair out.Normally when he makes a suggestion like that, I just take it at that, a suggestion, but this time I had become bored with my hair and thought I would give it a whirl. Wow, growing out your hair is tedious. Now that its almost past the awkward stage of growing out from a super short cut, I am wavering on whether to chop it or not. What makes the matter pressing is that I have a chance to get my hair styled by my most favorite hair stylist, Janae of Lunatic Fringe in Salt Lake. Yes, I chose the salon by its name: Lunatic Fringe, doesn't that just sound like me:-) and then just lucked out to find Janae. She is AMAZING, a real artist and perfectionist in hair styling. I can just tell her what I want and voile! Love her. And she recently married a Mike Johnson, so there you go.

So here's my dilemna:

PROS for CHOPPING:

*Felicity's new favorite thing is to pull on my hair

*I can look put together with 30 seconds of styling

*It is soooo hot here

*The one time I was asked if I was a model, was when I had short hair:-)

*I love this haircut on Sierra Miller- have wanted to try this

PROS for LETTING it GROW:

*Long hair is sooo pretty and feminine

*I can put it in a pony tail when I work out

*So many styling options

*I've made it this far with growing it out, why stop now

*I love this look by Jennifer Gardner-don't you just love her-of course my hair can't look like this exactly, but you get the idea

CONS for CHOPPING:

*I don't want to be the lady that always has that same hairdo

*My mom has short hair right now and I'm not so hip on twinsies-sorry mom, you're gorgeous, nothing personal

*Costs a lot to keep up a cut

*I look at those with pretty long hair and am envious

CONS for LETTING it GROW:

*Felicity's new past-time

*It takes time to do, something I don't have a lot extra of

*My hair texture has changed to be a little more frizzy and not so silky straight as it once was, hence more time to de-frizz and straighten

*I still have to wait quite a while longer for it to be as long as I'd like it

So there you have it, my dilemna: TO CHOP OR NOT TO CHOP

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