Wednesday, November 28, 2012

i can't do it, please help me so i don't have to

i am at a stand still
and i can't make myself do what i know that i should to move forward
at least its the only option that i can find
but i don't like it, not one bit
in fact i just can't do it

if you ask my husband he will tell you how much i hold on to things
letters from dear friends from year's past
essays written in college on gothic architecture
tiny newborn hospital hats from each of our children
beautifully vibrant fabric waiting for just the right project {if i can bear to cut it}

holding on to things brings me security in who i am and who i have been
important memories are brought to life with just a glance of an object
oh how i am afraid of forgetting things
things about my life
things about the life of my children
things about my daddy

it has come to this
once upon a time i installed Intense Debate to use a comment enhancer called Commentluv
they have since updated and have proclaimed that updating on Blogger wouldn't be a problem
well its been nothing but problems
exhibit A
if you are looking at my blog on the homepage you will see below this post {or the current top post} a jumble of comment links
if you look at the direct link for the post everything is fine and dandy
it makes commenting from the homepage a mess
no reader wants to try and search for a place to comment,
am i right?
i have emailed, filled out contact forms, and posted on forums
and have not heard back from anyone official
one kind blogger quickly jumped to my aid, Melissa from the incredible edible blog Serving Seconds, and shared that she had experienced something similar

her solution
to uninstall Intense Debate and sadly lose all of the comments on your blog
and then intall Disqus
since there is not a setting in the new dashboard of Blogger that will turn your comments back on

i just can't do it
i am brought to tears
lose my comments off my blog?
the comments that you have shared with me that have significantly helped to carry me through these past difficult years
stories you have shared of your inspiration from my father, from Abigail, from my husband
words of confidence and faith in me
testimonies of truth
parenting advice
words of hope, empathy, joy, encouragement, humor

how could i possibly delete all of those?
oh please, someone,
tell me that there is another way

i have such plans for my blog to grow this coming year
ideas fill my head as i drift off at night
topics to discuss, projects to create, favorites to share
my notepad is full
commenting is essential for growth
i am encouraged by so many of you to write
and keep writing
and i want to
but how could i do it when part of what has gotten me to this point in my writing has been deleted
your comments, your sweet comments

please, someone,
tell me that there is another way

i am elated to update that within minutes of my post
my knight in techie armor came to the rescue
and in a mere hour and a half my cherished comments were preserved
it may take some time to turn them all back on,
but i was empowered with the knowledge on how to keep it that way
thanks to my longtime friend jeff for hastening to my aid
and to his dear wife beth who was watching a boring show which freed up his time

print Crossroads by Alex Wijnen available for purchase here


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