One Prayer Answered Changed the World

I love those moments when you can see a glimpse in your children that what you have been teaching has actually taken root.  We had such a night a few Mondays ago.  Monday nights are dedicated for what our church entitles, "Family Home Evening", a specific time set aside for families to be together, share thoughts about our testimonies of Jesus Christ and his gospel, and have fun!  My 8 year old is working on a goal-oriented, faith-strengthening program for baptized children called, "Faith in God".  One particular goal involved Owen reading from the Pearl of Great Price, a book of scripture containing selection of revelations, translations, and writings of the prophet Joseph Smith.  In particular he was to read in Joseph Smith History the account of the events which led up to and comprised Joseph Smith's vision in which God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to him at the young age of 14, commonly referred to as "The First Vision".  He was to then to discuss with our family about receiving answers to prayers.  


So to fulfill this goal, Owen was in charge of Family Home Evening.  He made the assignments to family members of offering the prayers and choosing the songs.  He opened his scriptures and taught his 2 little brothers about the young boy Joseph Smith who wanted to know for himself which of all the churches of his day were true.  Owen recited to us the scripture that struck the heart of the boy Joseph, James 1:5, " If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."  

He said that Joseph needed to know something and so he knew he needed to ask God. {To read full account, visit here.}

He told of how Joseph went to the woods to pray and how God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to him.  Owen loved the part in which Heavenly Father pointed and said, "This is My Beloved Son.  Hear Him."

Owen then chose as the activity for the boys to draw what they thought the "The First Vision" looked like. They busily got to work on their drawings. Eyan was done first and proudly came to show it to me. When my little 5 year old boy came and showed me his sweet little drawing I was completely taken aback. There amidst towering trees were God the Father and Jesus Christ appearing above the boy Joseph Smith (whose little body would not scan in on my scanner after many attempts). I loved it!  Owen then brought me his.  It was beautifully detailed, from the kneeling and praying Joseph, to the Father and Son shining with glory which defied all description {what Owen indicated those squiggly lines above them to be}.  I was overcome with joy that these two boys were developing a testimony of such a foundational truth at such a young age.

I pointed out to Owen that the feeling of goodness that he had while reading this was the Holy Ghost testifying to him of its truthfulness.  And how by knowing that this was true, that everything that followed from it was true as well: the restoration of Christ's gospel to the Earth through the prophet Joseph Smith, the translation of the Book of Mormon, and so forth.  I asked him if he thought Auntie Lizze who is on a mission got to share this story often.  He said yes and I told him how lucky he was that already at the age of 8 he had received a confirmation by the Holy Ghost that this was true.  

What an amazing experience as a mother!  I am grateful for these times.  They propel me forward and serve as a great reminder to my son's potential and character during such times as later that week when I witnessed this same son swinging on the curtains in the church.  He is such a good boy who desires to be good, who loves to be a big brother and who is very mindful and considerate of his Dad's condition.  I am grateful for his tender spirit.  He has taught me great lessons in my A.P. Parenting 505 course:-)

Enrolled in A.P. Parenting 505: To Be and To Do

I am always so grateful to be a member of Christ's church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.    To know that God speaks to us, His children, today.  To know that there is a living prophet, one such as Moses, on the Earth today who speaks the will of God to us.  God does not leave us alone down here to guess as to how to make it back to Him.  He has revealed a plan, a most beautiful plan, and continues to guide us each and every day through exactly that: guides - a prophet and apostles, the scriptures, the Holy Ghost which communicates personal revelation, church doctrine and standards, and so many others, which all testify and lead us to Christ.

I always look forward to our church's General Conference, a biannual event, in which a world-wide audience can be instructed from these choice servants, the men and women called to be leaders of Christ's church.  I am always fed, always uplifted, and always propelled forward with a desire to be better, having been just given more tools to make that possible.

There are so so many talks that I could write about, but one that spoke directly to me and my daily struggles of trying to become a better mother was by Elder Lynn G. Robbins.  The text of his talk is not yet available online, but I can't wait to reread it and apply its principles in our home.  I am guessing the title would be something like "To Be and To Do: Teaching your children Christ-like attributes".

He talks about how most people have "To Do" Lists, but rarely have "To Be" Lists.  Things on a "to do" list can be checked off, but the things on a "To Be" List cannot.  They are things that are a part of your character, nature, who you are and can become.  One of the most important things we can do is to teach our children to be like our Savior.  "Christ-like "to be"s cannot be seen but they are the motivating force behind what we do, which can be seen. ... Because "be" begets "do" and is the motive behind "do", teaching "be" will improve behavior more effectively than focusing on "do" will at improving behavior."

For instance when children are quarreling, we often misdirect our discipline on what was done.  But the quarreling or the "do" is really only a symptom of the unseen motive in their heart.  "We might ask ourselves, what attributes if understood by the child would correct this behavior in the future...being patient and forgiving when annoyed, loving and being a peacemaker, taking responsibility for one's actions and not blaming."

Here is the kicker... "How do parents teach these attributes to their children?  We will never have a greater opportunity to teach and show Christ-like attributes to our children than in the way we discipline them."  
Wow!!!!
This really was an "ah hah" moment for me.  I actually have made a "To Be" list, probably many over the years.  All of them have included becoming more patient, whether it be with myself, for something I had prayed for, for something I had worked hard to achieve, or with my children.  Unfortunately my "do"s in disciplining often do not reflect this great desire.  It often resembles this quote that I have pasted on my refrigerator, "Anger is a self-centered reaction to inconvenience or disappointment."  I remind myself of this as often as I can remember.  I repeat it in my mind as I grumpily clean up the spilt peach juice off of the floor or sew Felicity's doll's leg back on after it was made to do the splits by a well-intended, "trying to entertain not mame" brother.  In thinking about the "be"s, the motivation behind the way I discipline, I see that there is a lot to change.  I pray that in viewing my own shortcomings, it will help me to be more merciful and loving in the way I "do" discipline my children.

This brings me to my very favorite part of his talk.  {If you can watch it, it is from minute 6:00 to 6:48.}
"A sweet and obedient child will only enroll a father or mother in Parenting 101.  If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505.  Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing, and an opportunity to become more God-like yourself.  With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christ-like virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined?  Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?"

I told my sister that I must be enrolled in A.P. Parenting 505, to which Mike added that we must be in graduate courses:-)  Truthfully we have wonderful children with good hearts, but we struggle as parents to know how to channel their strong-willed souls toward causes worthy of unyielding stand-offs.  I have wondered many times this exact thing this good man has instructed, that I need the refinement and stretching that being a mother to my particular children will bring.

There is such great wisdom and many more "ah hah" moments in this talk.  If you have a 10 minutes, watch it.  I know I will continue to refer back to it, til I can see that my "do"s reflect the "be"s I want my children to emulate.

March 2011: Gracious Living

I love when you read something and it just calls out, "this is for you!!!".  Amidst all of the craziness over here, I have really been trying harder to take some time to be immersed in some good reading, for a few minutes at least.  I have been rereading part of a book that I just loved cover to cover entitled "Justified by Faith" by Stephen D. Nadauld.  It explores in depth such grandiose principles from Romans 5:1-2, "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:  By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God".

I decided to reread the chapter called, "Amazing Grace".  This morning I read the following paragraph and it sang to my soul a most pleasing and peaceful melody.

"[G]racious living" means living in acknowledgment of the grace of God.  It means living without fear of justice or being anxious over uncertainty and therefore living unhurried, untrammeled, and unafraid.  It promotes an attitude of love and forgiveness because we are loved and can be forgiven.  It is living as a conduit, with the grace of God flowing in to us from heaven and out from us to our fellow man.   Graciousness is an attitude toward others stemming from our recognition that, having received grace form the Savior, we should extend it to others.  One who is gracious is kind, forgiving, and makes others feel at ease."

This is how I want to live my life.  I want to live my life as an affirmation that I receive this grace, this enabling power of Christ's Atonement every single day.  I don't want to be anxious, fearful, or hurried which feelings seem to cause such chain reactions that I often come to regret by the end of the day.  When I live a gracious life I feel Christ's strength and power as I display uncharacteristic patience, humor, and love to life's daily inconveniences and struggles.  How I desire to be a conduit of his divine love, especially to my children.  This is how I want to live my life.

March 2011: Our New Family Photos

We are so happy to have new family photos including little Miss Felicity.  We had a fun time taking these, despite the kids running and climbing in every which direction.  This location was a little boy's heaven.  I vowed not to stress out and to just go with the flow.  I think I did a pretty good job!  As I am sure it is with most husbands, family photos are not Mike's favorite thing to do...but he knows how much it means to me, so he goes along with it.  Cheerfully and with humor, I might add.

Mike's stipulation this year was that we had to stay close by, so I did some investigative work on a dirt road behind our neighborhood and found this gorgeous little spot.  {I didn't mention to Mike prior to the shoot that we'd be taking our all-terrain van off roading a smidge- he's very cautious with the van, even more so than I.}  I just loved the green and the rocks and trees and moss!!  I knew this was the spot.  Mike showed some of our photos to some of his employees at work.  One of them said, "Where do you guys live...Narnia?"  Owen liked that.

So here they are, just a few of our Narnia Family Photos.   Love them!!!

Well once again Cheryl has done it.  You can contact her through her website here at Cheryl's Classic Photos.  Thank you so much for your patience Cheryl.  And to Mom's extra pair of hands and great attention-grabber voice for Felicity!

Please take my little poll at the top of the right hand column to help me decide on which of our family photos I should enlarge as the dominant one on my mantel!

May and June 2010: Felicity at 3 Months

At 3 Months, Felicity: 

definitely had her Daddy's eyebrows

loved to be held by her brothers

started to fill out {love the wrist creases:-) }

still slept in her carseat, but a challenging sleeper

went to her 1st neighborhood party

loved to be with her brothers and they with her

loved snuggling up with Grandma

still made us think she would have blue eyes

loved playing on her playmat and swatting at toys

loved smiling at Mommy and following her with her eyes

loved watching the ceiling fan

April and May 2010: Felicity at 2 Months

At 2 Months Felicity:

loved her changing table

still wore NB clothes

let her Mommy attach bows to her head with caro syrup

had lots of people who loved her

liked to smile

loved her pacifier

wore her first shoes which Mommy dressed up

loved our walks, slept most of the time:-)

slept in her carseat and through the night for the 1st time

needed to be held all the time, no substitutes

wore her 1st bathing suit at Grandma's

loved her GG

Love Rocks!

Happy Valentine's Day from my lively little crew!!!

Nor Things to Come

Romans chapter 8 has been a favorite of mine ever since I can remember.  I go to it time and time again for words of comfort and for words of courage!  Each time it seems that Heavenly Father is speaking to me, almost in a new voice with new words.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose...

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...

NAY, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, ...nor things present, nor things to come... 

Shall be able to separate us from the LOVE of GOD, which is in Christ Jesus of Lord. 

Romans 8:28, 35, 37-39 (emphasis added)

In a recent phone conversation with my cousin Karlee, she read back to me a letter that I had written her years ago in which I had quoted this scripture.  It was a strange feeling hearing my own words read. Of course most of them weren't my own, but the Lord's.  As she read these scriptures the words "nor things to come" really struck my soul.  More than ever I have been carrying around fear in my heart, fear for things to come.  Heavenly Father was speaking comfort to my soul through these words, that whatever may be approaching on the horizon, it will not separate me from His love.  The other half of this equation is that I cannot let it do so.  I must not allow whatever comes to cause me to separate myself from His love.

We may have heard many times, "that all things work together for good to them that love God", but I had not given much notice to the words that follow, "to them who are called according to his purpose."  I have been called to this purpose, HIS purpose.  I am not sure what it is yet, but I know He has one.  I pray that I will slowly begin to see what it is and that I will remember His promise, that it will work together for good.

As I look at this photo of Mike as Felicity's champion as she takes her first steps, I see joy in the present and I see hope in our future.  That is truly the Love of God manifest in our lives.

Update on the Men in My Life

2011 is already racing by.  I can't believe February is knocking at the door.  I have received many inquiries into the status of my Daddy as well as to my husband Mike who's condition has fallen out of the spotlight now that Daddy has been in it.  For those of you who may not know, Mike was diagnosed in the summer of 2009 with Multiple Sclerosis.  I can't believe it was that long ago.  You can read about our journey in my previous posts:  

The long awaited diagnosis

Nurse, Needles, and kNowledge

Miracles and Disappointments

Announcement

Unfortunately Mike accidentally deleted his blog, journaling his thoughts and daily struggles with MS, when he deleted his old email account.  I am so sad that we no longer have his words of inspiration and perspective.

It has been a trail of smooth and rugged terrain over the past year and a half.  We have so much to be grateful for and I thank my Heavenly Father daily for this amazing man that is my eternal companion.  It has been difficult for me to witness the effects of this disease on him.  Tasks that are easy for you and I prove difficult for someone who struggles with issues of equilibrium, beyond extreme fatigue, inability to manage body temperature, constant shooting pain in your leg, numbness in various parts of your body, random twitches and shocks, and the frustration of telling your body to do one thing and it doing another or nothing at all.   Holding your baby, going up and down stairs, walking or sitting for too long, staying up late, getting over a simple cold, and so on are challenges that you wish weren't.

Of course I've discovered that Mikes suffers from all this and random other things not because he complains, because he does not, but because he will make jokes about it or I'll watch him struggle or I'll have to beg it out of him.  I can usually tell when something is wrong, but have a hard time getting him to admit to it.  In the beginning I seemed to forget some days that he was sick, but it has seemed like lately the physical reminders have increased.  

At times I battle with feelings of severe discouragement over his condition & our future as well as feelings of overwhelming inadequacy for the task of being the right kind of support for him & our children, but always always am I met each and every day by a loving, faithful, encouraging, and hard working husband.  He is a pillar of strength for me who continually points me to our eternal source of strength, our Savior Jesus Christ.  I have gone so long without worrying about our future due to the fact that I know my Heavenly Father is always mindful of my family.  How do I know this?  Because he has proven it time and time again.  So why do I allow those moments of doubt and fear to creep in?  I guess I doubt myself and my ability to handle it all.  At those times I am reminded through that still small voice that I am not required to handle it all by myself.  The words of one of my favorite scriptures {shared by my cousin Shelise so long ago} are whispered in my heart, "ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along." {Doctrine and Covenants 78:18}  I love to be led.  That is one of the greatest feelings and experiences in life, to be lead by God.  I pray for his continued guidance as we meet whatever may come next.

My Daddy is holding up fairly well under the circumstances.  He was able to be home for Christmas which was a miracle in itself. This photo of him and Felicity is on Christmas Day, both in their Christmas pjs.  He has received 3 rounds of chemotherapy since having to be in the hospital for 25 days and has been well enough to be at home and even to resume a lot of his church duties as stake president as well as going back to work a few times a week.  My mom drives him into work and has adopted a neighborhood in Whittier as her home away from home.  Many days he is able to work from home.

Since his release from the hospital my parents have met with several other doctors, getting "second opinions" regarding my father's diagnosis and treatment.  From what they have been told, the type of Myeloma my father has is very rare, maybe 200 cases in the entire country.  This is what made it so difficult to diagnose in the first place.  My parents are in the process of deciding under which doctor they will be doing treatments.  Right now he is on a cycle for chemotherapy in which he has it 4 times within 2 weeks and then off only 1 week before the cycle begins again.  The 2nd treatment day is always the roughest with 2 chemicals instead of 1.

One of the biggest battles that my Daddy has had over the past month and a half has been an unrelenting, heavy cough which has kept him from sleeping and recovering properly causing various side effects.  He has undergone multiple tests to try and determine its origin, but they have been inconclusive.

Just as my amazing husband, my incredible father is as positive as ever.  It is great to see a smile on his face, especially when he is with the grandkids.  Owen and Eyan have enjoyed some special time with grandpa playing the Wii, doing puzzles, and watching those silly shows that grandpa likes to watch like "Wipeout".  He is learning a new normal and I think that it the latest challenge for him.  But Dad enjoys a challenge because that is what life is made of, challenges.  I know that he will "come off conqueror"!

January 2011: The Follow-Through Fairy

photo by HappyTownUsa

I love New Year's.  Not for the staying up late part or being allowed to eat whatever you want "one more last time", since after-all, you will be starting your diet the next day... but for the good ole sense of renewal!  For the feeling of "I can be better".  For setting aside your normal frustration with your shortcomings and determining to improve.  You see yourself in a new light, one of optimism and of possibilities!

I love this feeling!
Here's where I digress for a moment... I remember having this feeling last year and for some reason, my New Year's resolutions seem to be the same as last year.  Hmmm?!
So this year I've decided I'm having a New and Improved Resolution:  To FOLLOW-THROUGH. I'm rather good at coming up with ideas.  I've got piles of them and piles of started projects to prove it.  What I need is completed projects, results.  I need to see change in myself.  What does that require:  (all together now...) FOLLOW-THROUGH.

So here's what I'm thinking, I need 2 things this coming year that are going to help me.  Really one or the other will do.

First, a new super power.
My kids asked me recently who I would be if I could be a superhero.  I told them that I wanted the super power to stop time.  I would bring my hands together and time would stand still, everyone would be frozen like a statue, even the little dust particles in the air {which I named "Sun's Helpers" as a little girl, incidentally} would stand still.  I could clean up, finish projects, exercise, cook dinner, and do what I needed to do with my children frozen in time and then, voila...I could start time back up again.  Wow, that would be incredible!  Of course they didn't think it was really cool super power.
For some reason I'm thinking that there was a girl named Vickie who had this power on a show I watched as a child, maybe "Small Wonders".  I'm thinking that's not exactly right, someone correct me here.

Photo by MBarberPhotos

Next, the Follow-Through Fairy.
Since we are so good as a society at coming up with fictional creatures that grant us our every wish and bring us gifts and money, I think I might as well come up with my own.  The Follow-Through Fairy.  I think she will become very popular.  She can sprinkle you with her Follow-Through Fairy Dust and suddenly you will have the energy and efficiency to balance your time to complete all of your projects and remain on the path to self-improvement.  Brilliant ideas will suddenly come to your mind and your will-power will be unstoppable.

So the first unfinished project I decided I needed help from the Follow-Through Fairy on this year is my well-participated contest, "Girls Got No Skills" that some of you may have entered ... last July... 2009.  I asked for help with submissions of recipes that this cooking-challenged gal could make for my children now that Mike is no longer the family chef.  I asked for meals that would be easy to make, healthy, and kid-friendly.  Now I would need to add that they could not contain red meat, for Mike's diet restrictions.  So sad, but I need to resume the contest so badly.  Yes life has been crazy with having a baby, Mike and my Daddy being sick, Mike's new work schedule dot dot dot, but I've got to figure out how to put yummy, healthy meals on the table for my children.  The saddest part is that they don't realize that they are deprived of normal family meals.  Case in point:  Feeling that amazing New Year's Empowerment today I asked Owen to write down the boys' things they would want me to make for dinner- any meal at all- determined to learn how to make it for them.  Here are the boys' top meals: oatmeal, corn dogs, breakfast shakes, and Malt-O-Meal with Chex, Cheerios, and quesadillas also coming in among the favorites.  Mike and I were dying.  Laughing but oh so sad.  My boys don't even know what "a meal" is.  Really I've tried-lots of times even with 4 food groups in one meal:-), but I haven't been consistent, not enough FOLLOW-THROUGH:-)

So I ask for your support in encouraging me this year to complete some of my projects and make those changes that I want to see in myself.  I have such good intentions!  Really I do.