3 mr rights and a little miss: a valentine tradition

happy valentine's day

from my mr. rights and little miss

our annual 'matching' valentine's shirts has to be one of my favorite traditions

catch a peak at our past years tees here, here and our first year with wee O and E here

i love seeing how much they have grown in just a single year

felicity steals the show in this one

our traditional jump photo

tate's hair reached rockstar status here

and this is how things ended up

spins in dad's coveted office chair

{our disneyland passes expired, so this is as close to the teacups as we can get at this point}

this year our t-shirt design was inspired by a piece of authentique scrapbook paper i ran across in my travels to Minnesota at the mind boggling store of Archivers

my sketching and x-acto cutting skills were put to the test

here they are up close

my mr rights

and little miss

look for the tutorial here...

to see the tutorial for last year's mr. bowlerman and miss charleston shirts, click here

what are your favorite valentine's traditions?

handmade valentine swap: helping to revive the art of the pen pal

dwindling is the art of the pen pal and receiving pretty packages and envelopes through the mail

sad to see that mail service will be soon be chopped by a day with only select days of delivering packages

thankfully i have seen a revival of sorts of the snail mail swaps and giftings by the blogging community

many bloggers are making a conscience effort to make online communication extend beyond digitally produced words on a screen

and provide opportunities for people to connect with others through swapping handmade cards and gifts

a means to igniting relations and friendships beyond our screens

and who doesn't love to receive something in the mail {other than bills and ads for maid services reminding you that you need to get back to your laundry}

the anticipation of opening its sealed contents

some may gingerly slice through the top

while others tear it open with abandon

i myself fall somewhere in between

i was delighted to stumble upon through Instagram {have you joined yet?!} a handmade valentine swap by the lovely lyndsey wells from the stationery place

i was placed in a group of 5

2 internationals - norway and the UK

2 in the good ole USA - michigan and pennsylvania

i became quite invested and loved having a reason to break out the wide label maker with valentine red tape

the juxtaposition of the labeler and my silhouette was rather fun

i was drawn into the process of ideas evolving to other ideas 

i laughed seeing my stream of consciousness type of thinking manifested in hearts and paper 

cool cat became my immediate favorite

i want to ride classy on a cobblestone street

if i could keep my balance sitting side saddle that is

my collection

i became rather giddy to open up my mail

each calling out its designer's unique personality and style

it also revamped my desire for handwriting with more pizazz

loved them all

a welcome surprise and immediate blast from the past, namely 1986, had to be the scratch and sniff chocolate paper, what??

my kids had never witnessed such bliss

can't wait for my next swap

unexpected things seem to have stemmed from my first one {you remember the pretty sock exchange} by amanda of oh my little dears

such as a trip to Minnesota to meet my swappers:) {more details to come}

looking forward to what surprises happen from this one

look for swaps from your favorite bloggers and jump in to participate

you'll be glad you do as you find your pretty packages in your mailbox
and new friendships forged

have you participated in a swap before?  would love to hear about it.

hearing my daddy's voice

today i received a phone call...
hello princess.
i heard on the line
a smile immediately formed
Rocky had been calling me that since my high school days
you know, when that homecoming stuff was around
but he has known me for much longer than that
a friend of my family's, father of my dear friend, religious guide, a friend to my father
he even wrote a college recommendation letter for me
he was there with my family and I in the hospital lobby sitting in one of those stiff chairs on one of those long final evenings
he knows me and he cares about me

today he called as he has a few times in these past long months since daddy has passed
just to let me know he was thinking about me and wondering how i was doing
today when he called my initial thoughts were
oh, so kind of him to call, i am doing ok though
he asked me how i was doing and then just let me talk
i proceeded to tell him that we were about to leave for the cemetery where we would be purchasing a flower vase for daddy's gravesite as a gift for mom's birthday
it has been difficult for her to think about selecting daddy's grave marker
but she had mentioned how nice it would be to place flowers there

i then told him about the gift my mother had given me of traveling to Minnesota to meet two talented, gold hearted online friends for the first time and attending their crafting retreat {of which i will share more about soon}
i told him what i had learned there and how grateful i was to have shared so much of the realities of my life and faith with them
...and then it hit me so forcefully
i immediately began to cry nearly uncontrollably
and through the sobs i thanked him for calling, i thanked him so much
i realized at that moment as i was listening to the words that were emerging from my mouth, how grateful i was for his phone call
how much i needed it
for i was telling him all of the things that i would have talked to my daddy about
having the kind of conversation i have missed so much
one of those phone calls i would get from him on a regular basis as he made his long commute home or just sitting next to him on the sofa and him truly wanting to know what was going on in my life
Rocky ended with telling me how proud of me he was
and i felt as if i was hearing my father's voice through his words
it was such a sweet moment
an absolute mercy from a loving Father in Heaven

i have been the recipient of such fatherlike love on multiple occasions over the past while from men who have grown up, worked, served, and laughed alongside my father for many, many years
a fatherly conversation of counsel and concern with Mike and I regarding our marriage, our family, and Mike's health from a man who knows my father better than most, his counselor as daddy served as president over our church stake {the term used for a large geographical grouping of individual church community congregations called wards}
he communicated three words that i believe daddy would have wanted me to remember:
brightness of hope
a wrap-around hug and invitation by my daddy's dear friend and other counselor Stan to come sit with him and his wife Mary as i sat alone in the back of the church my father used to preside over
my uncle Mark rambunctiously sword fighting with my boys and their cousins in the living room at Christmas time
my uncle Brent trying to win over the affections of my baby girl who misses her Papa
my father in law taking Owen on a walk and serving the boys up special 'grandpa style' ice cream
a greeting by another of my daddy's dear friends and golf buddy Lyle at church with a hug and a 'how are you doing lady?' as i melt into his shoulder with tears
all these men
these sweet, loving, strong men
some of them whom have known me since i was a little girl,
communicating the voice of my daddy to me
his love and his pride in who i have become
their actions and words letting me know that my daddy has not left me here alone
he has provided me with earthly men to serve as examples of his fatherly love to me and to my children
and as badly as i long to feel his enveloping hug and soft, secure embrace
i am so grateful for them
i feel joy in my heart to have been blessed with such examples of pure love
the pure love my daddy has for me
and who was always reminiscent of the perfect love my Heavenly Father has for me, his daughter

how have you felt the love of your loved one who has passed on?

{to read more about my daddy and his valiant fight with cancer read here}

its official i've reached delirium: 9 days of the flu song

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8                9
yep that’s where i’m at now.....               way                  over                 here                 ....9
9 days beaten down by this horrible, terrible, no good, very bad flu
well as a few little birdies have told me
lots and lots of you have fallen victim to this vile ickiness
so you can all chime in on this old favorite song

on the first month of 2013 my archenemy gave to me

oh lets just skip to the end
everybody now...

9 miserable symptoms 

{dizziness, headache, chills, deep cough, sore throat, extreme fatigue, burning back, shortness of breath, nose schizophrenia - stuffy or runny, can’t make up its mind}

8 pairs of pajamas 

{i have christmas pjs like its nobody’s business}

7 episodes of downton abbey 

{to wrap up season 3 - once you start you can’t stop}

6 pathetic sickies 

{yep our last survivor fell victim this morning}

5 superheroes 

{thanks mom, aunt rhonda, kelli, amanda, and leslie, couldn’t have survived without you}

4 boxes of frozen waffles 

{breakfast, lunch, and dinner - side anecdote...don’t want to digress too far from this catchy tune, but loved this insightful response from Felicity our 2 year old 

Dad: you want another waffle Felicity?  you’re going to turn into a waffle 

Felicity:  dad, i don’t want to go into the toastah.  its hot in therah’.  i’ll get stuck.}

3 seismic waves 

{thankfully owen was healthy most of this time so we could finish his science fair project: seismic showdown}

2 soup deliveries 

{really no substitute for soup when you’re sick - the stereotype en actuem - now i’m making up latin, hey i’m practically delusional at this point}

and 1 trip to the urgent care 

{where i was additionally diagnosed with bronchitis, yippee, and i get to be on breathing treatments that send me into a jittery frenzy}

so there you have it folks

9 miserable symptoms
8 pairs of pajamas
7 episodes of downton abbey
6 pathetic sickies
5 superheroes
4 boxes of frozen waffles
3 seismic waves
2 soup deliveries
and 1 trip to the urgent care

a classic already
and i've officially reached delirium

here's my miserable failure at the 'dressing up' movement these past 9 days

{spicing things up with some fiery socks and lickable pants}

{some of that homemade #2 made by a #5}

{leaving the house...for school drop off.  only have to look normal from the waist up}

{oh shoes AND no pajamas...too bad these shoes are in the urgent care}

hope to see you on the other side
where my sanity resides

how have you been staying healthy and sane?
or have you joined me in delirium land?

downton abbey style: advocating the 'dress up' movement

i too have been swept into the allure of downton abbey
its grandeur, its beauty, the fascination of that time period where excess met destitution
and of course the beauty of the clothing
one of my favorite 'coffee table' books is decades of beauty: the changing image of women 1890s to 1990s by kate mulvey
expression of socioeconomic, political, and artistic movements through fashion is such a fascinating topic to me
downton has represented these fashion trends so beautifully
as you may have inferred from my tutorials of mr. bowlerman & miss charleston appliqué and my gatsby girl headpiece , i have a particular lovefest with the 20s
straight line chemise, drop waists, pleats, cloche hats, short hair

as a relatively new mother of a girl,
it has already been evident that I would easily buy something for her before i would for myself.
i'm working on creating more balance in this equation
as truthfully i enjoy new, stylish clothing myself
'dressing up' also seems more readily acceptable amongst little girls than women
my talented seamstress sister in law Karen is a self-proclaimed advocate for the 'dress up' movement
and wrote a great post on this notion of 'dressing up for you' on her blog Sew Stitchin Cute
she writes

As a stay-at-home mom I sometimes feel like I don't have the "right" to dress nice because I'm knee-deep in little kids all day, every day. But so what? Why should only those with a job outside the home be able to dress nice? Why is it that when I wear a skirt or *gasp* a dress do people ask "where are you going?" or "do you have a hot date later?" Why is it such a stretch to believe that I like to dress nice for me? And my hubby? or that I just really like skirts and dresses- I always have....Now, I'm not saying that everyone should dress this way. I'm just saying that you should dress in a way that makes you feel good about yourself and gives you confidence. The outside should be a reflection of the inside (as hubby always says). And if that means you're considered to be "overdressed" by other's standards to drive carpool and pick up groceries at Wal-mart, so be it.

i am also one that enjoys dressing nice.  lately i have been disheartened by some of the morphing i mentioned in my 'acceptance' post, in part the morphing of my body shape.  it takes greater effort to get those few clothes on the hangers that fit, to be thrown together in some sort of stylish way. 
but i'm working on it...
both through physical exercise and in the process, exercising some creativity with my wardrobe

for the little girl in your life who may be donning more stylish clothes than you have seen in years,
you may join me in my elation at the discovery of these incredibly elegant dresses for little girls
that just rang out downton abbey
the delicate colors, flowing pleats, vintage lace, and luxurious touches of pearl and sequin
these amazingly affordable dresses come in sizes 2T to 6 and are now being pre-sold over in my new friend Kendra's shop
Adorn Me Girl
filled with modern and vintage adornments for you and your little one

aren't they stunning?

with prices ranging from $26 to $36 you'll need to hurry...

to guarantee stock in your darling's needed size, you may only pre-order til tomorrow night, 

saturday, january 19th til midnight

afterwards she will carry remaining stock on hand

and for those of us who can't fit into the pleated sequined peter pan collar dress
here are a few pieces to incorporate into your wardrobe
lets think about jumping on the 'dress up' movement

1. passion within pleated dress in ivory from Ruche

2. pearly-cue top from Modcloth

3. troopa Steve Madden boot from Nordstrom

4. ghita headband from Anthropologie

thank you

how do i transition from such a weighty post as my last...
to express gratitude of course
i wanted to thank all of you who responded to my admission of deep struggle with the acceptance of my husband’s illness
to those who took the time to reach out to me through email, text, Instagram, Facebook, doorstep surprises, and straight up hugs
some of you with just a few simple kind words to let me know that you care about me, that i was on your mind and in your heart
others of you sent me lengthy personal messages sharing your own trials and battle with acceptance and how you were struggling or how you overcame
lessons of growth, lessons of triumph
oh how i needed to hear all of these
i even received a few that challenged me to really think about difficult issues that emerged from my words, which helped to remind me and some even to reshape my ideas of God’s will, God’s nature, suffering, and our personal mission here on this earth
i’m listening 
i’m pondering 
i’m being stretched and it hurts a little
but i know that through my Savior’s strength and enabling power of the Atonement, i will be made new to rise to my heavy task as i submit and accept
submit and accept, the essential first task at hand

this reminds me once again of my favorite scripture
i think people have favorite scriptures for various reasons: peace, reassurance, reminders, encouragement, resonance of truth, displays of courage
mine reminds me that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my struggles and reveals to me a way that I must live in order to be happy
and as i have lived my life in this manner i have witnessed miracles of a renewed fervor, faith, and energy for life
a fullness and a joy 

yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord

Mosiah 24:15

cheerfully
cheerfully
with patience
to ALL the will

thank you again for the extending of your hands and lives to help me through this

acceptance is just out of my grasp

while i have been mending and feeding my soul over this past while,

some other parts of me have frayed and morphed into someone else

in some ways i miss me

i miss things that i once was

or at least i perceived myself to be

things i took pride in being

my mom keeps telling me to give myself grace

that this has been a rough year and that my situation is difficult, 

and that once i’ve accepted it, then my joy will be greater

oh how wise she is

but how do i finally give in to acceptance 

when it seems like i’d be giving up

the ‘it’ i am referring to is not in regards to my daddy being gone

the magnitude of that trial continues to manifest itself in my life daily

and although i know that i will see him again,

my heart aches for him to hold me and tell me in a way only daddy can that i need to stop ‘stressing’ and that hard and unexpected things are just all a part of life

that may sound unfeeling, but it wasn’t at all

he wanted me to be happy, above all else, happy

and he knows that i can’t be happy when i worry about things i can’t control

boy, how many times i heard him say that

and oh how he would say it in such a kind and gentle way, never harsh or condescending

the ‘it’ is the fact that my husband is sick and i hate that i can not control his disease

oh and i know that hate is such a strong word

{one we do not use in our house}

but i hate it

his unrelenting pain he suffers so greatly

his self-imposed guilt he carries

his sleepless nights due to immense pain

his struggle to get out of bed in the morning and then up at any other time in the day

his deprivation of some of his fulfilling hobbies and dreams, our dreams

but oh how i love

his optimism he holds ever so high

his unyielding will power to get up...and put one foot in front of the other

his faith in the awareness of his Father’s eyes upon him and His hand in the health that remains

his love for his family that keeps the smile on his face as well as his hands on the car wheel as he drives off to work

i do not say this to embarrass him, as i’m sure i am doing

i only say these things to praise him

he loves our life together, all of us, and he never ever thinks of himself as being deprived, but sees things in such a more grand perspective than i

he is disappointed when i see only what is lacking

and i’m trying oh i’m trying to be as good as he is

and some days i get closer than others

it has been nearly four years and i still have not reached a complete acceptance that he is sick and will only continue to get more sick and conventional medicine is not our path

i just haven’t quite let go of what i thought our life would be together now and in the years ahead

i have not accepted that this could be what God would want for us, what He would want for him, such suffering

but Mike sees his life in such a beautiful light

he sees the blessing of walking and moving about with his body full of innumerable scars 

he sees the empathy he has acquired for others and their trials

he sees the compassion 

he sees the humility

he sees the can-dos

i am eternally grateful for his courage, for his faith, for his peace he has with his disease

and especially, that despite his own suffering, he is carrying me as well

he is carrying me in the midst of my defiance, my frustration, my denial

i am creating great resistance with these dragging feet of mine

and its not fair of me to do it any longer

i long to embrace God’s will for him

but i am scared as to what that will entail

i pray that i may be lifted to the task, to be the wife of this man who shines forth with the testimony of Christ’s infinite power and strength

i pray that i may give up my expectations, my dreams of what i thought would be, for the stirrings of God-like qualities that may take their place inside of me as they have in him

oh how i pray

fifteen years i have been by his side and i keep reminding myself of what the prophet of the Lord has said, 'the future is as bright as your faith'

as i look back on photos of us together i know that to be true...

our future is as bright as our faith and our love

{to read more about our journey with MS click here}

cooking isn't about me

one morning last week i didn’t feel like having sugar cereal again so i decided to cook eggies for felicity and i

she wanted to ‘cuhluh’, pink is her favorite, while we waited but those darn eggs weren’t cooking fast enough 

{mike’s voice chimes in... you cook eggs low and slow}

so i asked her if she wanted to come watch the eggs cook

as i held her while i stirred the setting eggs, 

my heartstrings tugged and my selfishness melted some

ooohhh briana marie

cooking isn’t about you

it isn’t about what you can or can’t do

its about so much more than that

imagine the thing that makes you feel at your most insecure

the thing that you feel most inadequate about 

that seems to bring out the worst in you as you watch yourself fail, attempt after attempt

that is me and cooking

oh i can’t be that bad, you say

oh trust me {and my poor family} its like that

unfortunately i have become a stereotype

oh there’s backing for it

hair caught in egg beater...yep...it happened

fire ignited fried tortillas

blackened bottom pans from boiled out water

crunchy burnt macaroni and cheese

sugar cookies resembling trodden dirt after the run of the bulls in spain

{right now my family is saying...oh and don’t forget about the time...}

oh there’s been some successes or at least some ‘get by’s along the way

but truly i’m tired of being the stereotype

how tired am i really?

i really have to care to change

and it can’t be because i want to be better at it

it has to be because i realize why i must be better at it

holding felicity in my arms stirring those eggs really brought one of those reasons straight to my heart

my daughter

do i want her to struggle as i do in feeling useless in this domestic duty

no

it is my responsibility to help her become a homemaker

and my hatred and paralysis in regards to cooking will only be a barrier

my mother and my sisters all got the cooking gene

it just skipped me

my 'amazingly gifted in the kitchen' mother tried and tried to help me growing up and still now, but to no avail

cooking is not common sense to me

show me something and ask me to sew it and i can visualize the steps beginning to end in my mind

but cooking...

this is yet another example of the mercy and love of a Heavenly Father, who knows his daughter

i met and married Mike

lover of cooking

a gourmet

for years he delighted in creating the perfect dishes and presenting them in a beautiful fashion

his domain was the kitchen and i stayed clear out

he has practically every gadget you could want

it was his joy to plan out meals for the week and come home, relax, and cook for us

we were even the perfect pair of party hosts

as i have watched this disease consume and deprive him of things that he loves

this has been one of the most difficult aspects to see the loss of

as i mentioned in my thanksgiving post, to witness the lengths he delivers to try and hold on to things in his past life that he loves, nearly kills me

so what can i do for him

what can i truly do for him

cook for him, cook things that taste good, that maybe he would have made

oh so easily said

i have tried over these past nearly four years since his diagnosis to step up in the kitchen

those of you who entered my ‘girl’s got no skills’ contest were invested in helping me and i have been so grateful for your recipes and encouragement, it was just what i needed at the time

but notwithstanding my ineptitude in the kitchen, things have become increasingly difficult with his dietary needs

a paleo/primal diet seems to suit him best

so off i try again, here in 2013

as i try again this year to magnify my love for my family by relying on the strength of my Savior to raise me to the task of family chef,

i am seeing little things that are helping

having pretty things in my kitchen

i just realized this week that i have been slowing taking over the kitchen, putting things in it that i love to look at, 

i didn't know i was doing it, it just happened

its not mike’s kitchen anymore

it must be mine

and i love being surrounded by pretty things

wearing a feminine apron

oh this may sound so silly but an apron sort of serves as a barrier or a mediator between the food and me...

right now we haven’t quite become friends

a pretty apron between the two of us seems to make the food more friendly

freezer meals

i have a saint of a friend, a wonder woman in fact, who introduced me this past year to this time saving version of cooking

oh how in debt i am to her for sharing her talents

alas she moved this week and i am trying to figure out what i will do without her

i am scared to attempt them alone, but they made such a huge difference during difficult days

receiving genuine praise

in my first attempt in this new year to make a meal for my family, i have to say it was a success in my eyes

dinner was nearly complete and on the table when Mike got home from work

he had laid out a meal plan for me this week, doing all he can to help me in this endeavor

and somehow the food tasted yum and he made sure to praise me repeatedly at the table

it became contagious and the boys followed

how my heart was warmed and a sense of confidence washed over me

oh how i love my husband

its going to be a battle i know
fighting my greatest insecurity

there will be tears and days i want to give up

but i hope my heart will tell my hands and feet on those days why i am doing this

L.O.V.E.

your encouragement has raised my spirits over these past years

i would love to hear about the little things that help you create success in your home at mealtime

and even what you deem as a success

pretty please

gatsby girl new year's headpiece tutorial

happy new year to all...

whether building onto the best of 2012

or forgetting it ever happened

here's to

clean slate

fresh start

building blocks

new beginnings

triumphs

lessons learned

fiery resolves

last night i got a chance to do something i love

dance the night away

one little catch...i was a chaperone at a youth dance

so i did some dancing...some hand stamping, poured water cups...little more dancing

embarrassed the kids i'm sure...passed out party blowers, picked up half-eaten chocolate pieces

but i loved every minute of it

i have a deep love for teenagers being a sunday school teacher of 16, 17, and 18 year olds

{catch a glimpse of their awesomeness at the bottom of the post}

they were actually happy i was there

even calling to make sure i was going

love it

well i wanted to add a little flair to my chaperone attire

so i whipped up some headpieces for my sister and sister in law and i to wear to the dance

inspired by all these fabulous headpieces i am seeing derived from the great gatsby

oh how i would have adored my closet living at that time

so i present the gatsby girl new year's headpiece

visual skeletal tutorial

just the bare bones

would be happy to answer any questions

tulle: 9" x 11" folded lengthwise  |  silver foil candy cups

gathered and stitched tulle  |  hot glued ribbons and feathers

love my silhouette

first attempt with glitter glue - have a lot to learn

elastic cording stitched at ends then stitched to tulle piece  |

wishing you a happy new year from the sister chaperone brigade

hope you spent time doing something you love with people you adore

oh i love these guys...