I have been consumed with a seemingly reasonable desire, one that most enjoy. Due to the absence of achieving this desire or seeing a time in the near future in which it can be realized, I have thrown everything else off in my life. Our home has not been the place of joy that it could be if only I would snap out of this state of unhappy haze. I can not seem to shake it. My heart has not even been in the right place to truly desire for God's help in overcoming my tunnel vision and hard heart because after all it is a reasonable desire!
As is often the case, His help was given, despite that I was unworthy and almost not ready to receive it. But it came and luckily I recognized it and embraced it. I found myself at the right place and the right time, grateful that He was speaking to me through the voice of one of His servants, His apostles, a special witness of Jesus Christ on the Earth today.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, the second counselor in the First Presidency, which is the highest governing body of the Church, gave a powerful address to the women of our church last night. He suggested 5 things that we should "forget not" to do. The entire sermon was incredible, one I will refer to again and again for inspiration in my life. The 3rd suggestion was the one that I needed to hear right then:
"Forget Not to Be Happy Now"
He proceeded to give an analogy of the Golden Ticket, drawn from the children's story "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". A story I became very familiar with as a child. I found myself easily relating to his words and knowing they must have been just for me.
"In this classic children's story...people all over the world desperately yearn to find a golden ticket. Some feel like their entire happiness and future depends on whether or not a golden ticket falls into their hands. In their anxiousness people begin to forget the simple joy they used to find in a candy bar. The candy bar itself becomes an utter disappointment if it does not contain a golden ticket. So many people today are waiting for their own golden ticket. The ticket they feel contains the key to the happiness they've always dreamed about."
"There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings....The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event, our golden ticket to appear...
"This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart but don't close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day's ordinary moments that make up a rich and well-lived life. The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket, they are those that while in pursue of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the every day moments. They are the ones that thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy."
This is what I have been missing; my threads of gratitude and wonder are tangled and forgotten off in a box somewhere. I must make a conscious effort to find them, gently unravel them, and keep them at the forefront of my thoughts. I have been passing up and even corrupting the potentially beautiful and sweet moments of each ordinary day by focusing all my mental energy on my lack of this 'reasonable desire'. I pray and I plead that He will "help thou my unbelief" in raising me above these thoughts. That I will find joy despite the seemingly unattainable. That I will be humbled. That I will find gratitude and wonder in "each day's ordinary moments" and become one of those "who are truly happy".