Monday, July 22, 2013

how i got my groove back

self-sabotage and barbed wire fences is where i left off in my last post
that is not the end of the story
my dreams that i shared with you of having a sustainable blog are still in full force
mike and i have been working behind the scenes on this for over a year
our new name, our new goals, and our new design and content being drafted and refined
and i look forward to sharing them with you
but what came into my world just three months ago has been something that has forced me to address those self-sabotaging thoughts and barbed wire fences i had been filling my mind with
convincing myself that i was not good enough, experienced enough, worthy enough to be able to provide for my family
being successful was just not in the cards for me
just look at our past struggles and the destiny of our future would be told
financial struggle was something that would always be around
especially if it was me that was leading the way in providing for the family

ugh. those thoughts are awful
heavy and paralyzing
anyone would believe those thoughts if they were the only ones they had told themselves
thankfully they were not the only thoughts occupying my mind nor were they words that i heard from those who care about me most
briana, you can do this
briana, you have been blessed with abilities that can benefit others
briana, you have a husband to take care of and children to provide for
briana, your future is as bright as your faith

in my mind i entertained both streams of thoughts
and unfortunately i couldn’t quiet the negative ones long enough to believe the positive ones
three months ago i packed my bags and flew out to las vegas with skepticism as my carry on
that weekend i learned that i had liquid hope in my possession
and joined a company whose goal is to make people better

to read more about my weekend read herehere and here

this real opportunity has been an unexpected answer to my prayers to be able to help provide for my family
i have shared it with many of you over the past few months
and most importantly have learned how many of you are praying for our family
i threw myself into sharing this breakthrough product and dream building opportunity with you
but all along in my mind the doubts rang loudly
not doubts in the product
for it is the real deal backed by over a decade of science and substantiated by real results
not doubts in the opportunity
for i personally know people who have earned their I-pad, Lexus, and real money through this incredible opportunity
not doubts in the principles of the company
for i have met and heard stories of people whose self-confidence and faith have been raised and lives have been changed through the founding goal of Nerium
to make people better

my doubts lied in me
my ability to be successful
i have all the reason to fight for success
my family is depending on me
its real
the need is there
the reality of me needing to play an increasingly significant role as a provider for our family has solidified to the level of necessary
this need is what has propelled me out into the workplace
and it is a spark for action if i’ve ever felt one
but it was not enough

having a worldclass product, real opportunity, principle founded company, and a compelling need to be successful was just not enough
i had to believe that
i, briana marie, stay at home mother of 4, possessor of passion, faith, confidence, and drive
could be successful with what i have been given

after three months i wondered why i hadn’t been as successful as i was hoping 
and it wasn’t until after the transformation happened that i realized why
everyday i had prayed for success in building my business
i was doing all the right activities 
and was receiving tremendous help from others who were working with me each day to build my confidence and belief in myself
and i was listening
but only partially believing
i thought that if i listened to their words long enough, i would begin to believe them

the weekend before last will be the weekend i forever remember 
as a turning point in my life
i had set a business goal for myself, one that i wanted to achieve by saturday night
i set out to make that goal a reality
doing all the recommended activities
as i began my day a passion burned within my soul to be successful at this
to be able to ease the burdens of my husband
to feel the clutches of financial stress release the paralyzing weight around my ankles
to be able to provide the basic needs for my family but also giving me permission to bust through those barbed wire doors to let my dreams free
to help provide a life of discovery and learning for my children
to be able to have the means of helping others in their dark nights

i decided to fast, a full day’s fast
knowing i needed to feel as much of God’s spirit and enabling power as i could that day
i knelt in prayer with my children surrounding me
i poured out my heart to my Heavenly Father
thanking Him for this noble man that i had married
for my patient children who have been supporting me in this
for this opportunity He had placed in my path
i pled with Him to help me to meet my goal that day
i shared my heart in wanting to be able to alleviate the burdens of my husband and to be able to provide for my children and help them discover and pursue their talents
my desire to be able to give to others
to be able to do simple things for others like buy them groceries, simple gifts of appreciation, and give to their causes that their hearts connect with
those things people had done for us
i poured out my heart

i rose to my feet and went to work
during the morning and mid-day the grumblings of my stomach were audible
but as my day went on fasting seemed to get easier
in those final hours of prayer and fasting something simple and profound happened
i felt close to God and felt Him speak to my heart in a way i had not experienced since the passing of my daddy
the love i felt from Him was palpable 
and i felt Him speaking to me
briana, you can do this
briana, you have abilities I have blessed you with that you can help others
briana, as long as you come unto Me first I will pour into you and you will be able provide for your family 
and yes briana, you can dream again

i finally felt as if the dark, hard shell of despair and fear that had been covering me
break apart and fall to the ground
i felt free for the first time in nearly a year, no years
i felt like me again, something i didn’t know could happen again after all that i had experienced this year
the light of real hope, real faith, and real confidence
i was new
born once again through the love and mercy of my God

it was bigger than any business goal than i had set for myself
i didn’t need to fear anymore
He would walk beside me in whatever endeavor it might be
He would enlarge my capabilities to achieve whatever may come to help my family, others, and myself
but in order to achieve any business goal, i first had to believe that i could do it
and boy do i believe now
i will succeed 
and i will bring along as many of my family and friends who want to come along with me
its right for me, could it be right for you
i don’t know
but if you’d like to find out
know that i’ll help you

tomorrow i will leave you with some concluding thoughts

thank you for your continued prayers and support for our family

have you experienced a transformation in your life?  how did it happen?  how did it effect you?


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